ask me anything: the answers {part 3}

Life as a Mom

I have a lot of friends who are moms to young kids and as a single gal, I want to be as supportive a friend I can, but I never know what the right thing to say or do is. I have no idea what goes on in a day where you are at home caring for a child, as opposed to being in an office all day, so usually I don’t say a word and just let them vent… but is there anything people have said to you to encourage you or pick you up that you really appreciated, and wouldn’t mind sharing with us clueless single gals?

If you aren’t sure what to say, maybe you could just say, “I hope that when I have kids someday you can help me by reminding me what it was like for you and letting me know how you got through it.” The first few weeks with a newborn are just a blur. I was in Babies R Us today with Hudson and we were playing and he was babbling. And my mind flashed back to 7 months ago when he was in his baby carrier and I felt like I had no clue what I was doing or where I was!

People usually just said to me things like, “It gets so much easier and so much more fun as time goes on.” And they also said, “Everyone feels the way you do. Don’t worry.” And that always made me feel better.

Now that you’ve transitioned to be a SAHM, what does an average day in your life look like? Have you met a community of other moms that you can interact with (playgroups, etc.)?  Do you ever feel lonely or isolated, like your days are full?  Do you feel challenged?  Do you have other adults to interact with?

Whoo…a day in our lives. Here’s a rundown:

1. Wake up and feed Hudson his bottle.

2. He plays in his pack ‘n play while I get dressed- these days I just get my gym clothes on.

3. I feed him his rice cereal and fruit after he’s been awake an hour.

4. We play and read books.

5. He gets another bottle around 10:00 a.m. He goes down for a nap three hours after he wakes up. He usually sleeps a little over 2 hours. (Lately Todd’s mom comes over during this time and I go to the gym.)

6. He wakes up and gets another bottle.

7. We play some more and go for a walk.

8. He takes another nap for about an hour and I do some housework, check email, blog, catch up on phone calls, play with the dogs, etc.

9. He wakes up and gets another bottle and we do the whole thing again. He still gets a botle every three hours.

10. He gets his supper/vegetables around  6:00 p.m. He gets a bath at 6:30 p.m. and his last bottle for the day at 7:00 p.m. Then he’s in bed until 7:00 a.m. or so and we do it all over again.

Some days we run errands, but I try to limit my errands to once a week. It’s good to get Hudson out of the house, but I find that I’m more responsible and spend less money if we only go to Target and Publix or Piggly Wiggly once every week. I make a list and am totally prepared when we go.

Now… for me. Todd gets home around 6:15 every night and after Hudson goes to bed we have our time. I get dinner started around 6:00 and we eat after Hudson has gone to bed. This way we can enjoy it more and relax. We watch TV and spend time together and then go to bed.

I had something to do every night this week at 6:30 p.m. or 7:00 p.m. with Junior League and Bible study. I spend a lot of time with my friends– more time than I did when I was working.

I don’t feel isolated. I have a great support system and we live in a part of town that allows me to see people frequently. I don’t have constant adult interaction, but I do have adult interaction. I’m very fortunate that my mother-in-law can keep Hudson so I can go to the gym. That gets me out of the house and I’m able to get rid of some energy. Our gym does have a nursery, but I’m waiting for him to start crawling before taking him there.

I feel challenged every day. I think all mothers know that it’s a very challenging job. I’m not saying that everyone would like being a SAHM, but I love it and it was absolutely the right decision for me.

Do you and TC have names already picked out for your future kids (assuming you want more kids)? Hudson is such an adorable name!

We have a couple of girl names picked out, but I’m going to keep them to myself. I probably won’t keep the name a secret if I get pregnant again, but for now I just want to keep it to ourselves. One of the names is a family name and I just love it.

What are your tips for being a stay at home mom?

Don’t have any expectations. Don’t expect it to always be perfect and don’t compare yourself or your situation to anyone. Like everything, it’s what you make it. The best tip I can give is to be organized. Have your grocery lists made up. Fold laundry during nap times. (When there’s a newborn you need to take naps during naptime!) Babies can be hard to please. There will definitely be bad days where you can’t wait to go to bed, but you know that tomorrow is a new day and that you get to start over.

Please tell me why you love being a SAMH? Did you make any cutbacks? Where you scared to leave your job?

I wasn’t scared to leave my job. Fortunately, our situation worked out where we didn’t lose much financially because of Todd’s job. But we are making cutbacks right now because Todd has just started his own firm and we just have to be conservative.

I love being home with Hudson every day. I love being there for all the moments. I love making my house into the home I’ve always wanted it to be. This is the best thing that I can give to my son. I’m not saying that for everyone– but I wasn’t a happy person with the way things had been going at work, and I don’t have days like that anymore. It’s such a personal decision, but I never wake up dreading a day. This life is not glamourous. I tend to look like a hot mess these days because naps are fewer, but I love what I do.

I want to be a SAHM when the time comes but I stress out when I think about the fact that my income won’t be coming in anymore! What things were the most difficult to cut back on, and which were the easiest?

Clothes and shoes. Hands down. But I’m trying!

How much TV time do you allow him?

Hudson is a mover. He doesn’t sit still very long. He’s not crawling, but he scoots and rolls. But he will watch about one Baby Einstein show every day. Today we watched Baby Van Gogh and he was completely captivated. I usually put it on after he finishes his supper. We have a TV in the kitchen and when he’s done eating I’ll wheel him over to the TV and put in a Baby MacDonald or something from Baby Einstein. That’s his fussy time, so he is usually calmed by it and really enjoys it for a few minutes. No TV during meals though! He’s too easily distracted for that.

 

Baby Tips, Tricks, and Fashion

Any tips on how you got Hudson to sleep through the night (7a-7p)?  When did Hudson start to sleep through the night/go down at 7pm on a regular basis?

I’m sure I’ll get some comments on this one, but this is how it worked for us.  Hudson just had to cry it out. Before crying it out, he went about 7 hours before waking up. We saw his pediatrician and she assured us that our big boy was not hungry and was only waking up out of habit. She told us that we needed to teach him how to fall asleep without the aid of rocking or a bottle because some day we’ll need to just say, “Hudson. It’s time for bed.”

So when he was 3.5 months old we had him cry it out. He has been sleeping in his crib since he came home from the hospital. We have a video monitor and we just watched him in the video monitor that night. At that time, he was going to bed at 10 pm. He cried for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep. No pacifier. He was still swaddled at that point, too. The next night, he woke up once and cried for 15 minutes. The third night, it was 5 minutes and the fourth night he didn’t wake up at all.  I know that mothers are torn on this, but it worked for us. We have not been into his room in the middle of the night since he was 3.5 months old and now he’s 7 months old.

When he outgrew his swaddle blankets and Woombie, we moved him into a Halo Sleep Sack.

A few months ago he started getting fussy around 9:00, so we let him go to bed at 9:00 and he still slept until 7:00 a.m. Then around Halloween, he was really fussy around 7:00 p.m. We thought, “Well, let’s just put him to bed. He may wake up at 5:00 a.m., but we’ll just see.” He slept that night from 7 pm-7 am. And he did the same thing every night after that.

There is the occasional night that we’ll hear him babbling around 5:00 or 6:00 a.m., but we don’t go in there. We wait for him to go back to sleep– and he always does– and then he wakes up again at his usual 7:00 or 7:30. I guess it’s “tough love” but I know that I wake up during the night and I always go back to sleep. And I knew that my baby could, too.

Any websites pertaining to babies that you check religiously? Ex. What to expect, Baby Center, etc.

Only if I have a question about something specific. I’m not big into going “by the book” or “by the website.” But if I think he has a cold or if he seems to have a reaction to some food, I’ll check Baby Center or some general baby message boards after Googling the topic.

I do pull out my “What To Expect” book once a month or so to check on milestones.

You did a product review probably around when Hudson was 3 months. I would love to read another product review now that Hudson is out of the swing, bouncy seat, etc and into toys and other stuff.

I will! It’s hard, though, because all babies like different things. But someday soon I’ll share what we liked and didn’t like.

Where do you like to baby clothes shop, whether it be online or in store and what are your favorite brands of baby clothing?

My favorite places to shop for baby clothes are Kelly’s Kids, Hanna Anderson, Orient Expressed, two local stores called Little Lambs & Ivy and Bumble Boutique, Janie and Jack, and Baby GAP.

My absolute favorite layette brands are Kissy Kissy and Magnolia Baby. I love Feltman Brothers and Bailey Boys for sweet dressy outfits. Funtasia has great, happy outfits.

The cute little reversible overalls from his 6 and 7 month photos are a brand called Boojue, based out of North Carolina.

I hope this helps!