I’m in a blogging rut. I hate blogging about blogging and here I go. I’m doing it.
I have so many things on my heart right now that I want to blog about and get out there. My blog is, in fact, my journal, right? I can keep up with my thoughts, my photos, my life events. But because I’m often so transparent and put everything out there, I also feel vulnerable. Mostly vulnerable to all of the people that I know in real life that read and maybe don’t always tell me that they read.
There are some things going on that are on my heart and mind right now, but it’s not my place to write about them.
There are things going on in my life that have caused me some hurt lately, but I can’t write about them without fear of hurting someone. Or without feeling like I sound that I’m out for pity.
I rarely wish that I had an anonymous blog. I love the community that I’ve found here and I don’t think that is as possible when the blogger is completely anonymous. But sometimes I just want to let it all out and I can’t.
Am I alone here?
And I’m not saying that I want to be anonymous so I can talk about people. I want to talk about myself and my heart and feel a little more safety in doing it.
Because I’m in a rut and I’m stumped right now about what I can say, I’m inviting you to just get a quick chuckle out of this photo. Hudson was standing at the glass and I ran around outside to snap his picture and this is what I got!
I quote Sloan Peterson from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “He’s licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.”
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That picture is priceless!
I got nothing either. I really wish I could talk about work- as you might guess, there’s a ton of material there, and its a huge part of my life.
Oh I so know what you mean! I love blogging and the people I have met, but sometimes I wish I had a place where I could write about things openly and anonymously. I have friends and family who have become readers and sometimes there are things you want to share, but not necessarily with such a broad audience. You are not alone. Hope that you find a satisfying outlet for the things on your mind.
Until then, what a wonderful distraction you have in that sweet little guy! He’s too cute!
That is by far the best picture that you’ve ever posted. Love it. It’s awesome that you were able to catch that moment.
I totally know what you mean! Lately I have been in the same boat, not knowing what to post about despite having plenty of things to say! The blogging “experience” and all the things you can get out of it are so great, but at the same time… Sometimes I wish I knew just who was reading!
HOW CUTE is that picture of Hudson! That one should go into the album to show the future girlfriends, hehehe…
I too, have wished for anonymity at times. I have things in my life that frustrate me that I’d like to write about. Or experiences I’ve gone through that I think could help people but they are too private for others to feel comfortable sharing. I’ve realized that I have almost no filter at all, but I’m connected to entirely too many people who do. Also if I were anonymous I could say what I really think more often, instead of worrying about trying to be a representative for my family, church, etc.
But I would never want to be anonymous if it meant I would miss out on the community I’ve come to know. I love that part of blogging so much.
I got through a blogging rut sometimes myself. Family members read my blog, sometimes I wised they wouldn’t so i can vent my frustration at times…but then again i love it that I’m not anonymous…not that i have the readership you have.
Been there
I love that blogging is a form of journaling as well as a creative outlet, but there have been times when I’ve posted something and thought, “Oh, snap. I wish that I hadn’t put that out there!” It would help to be anonymous, but I think you’re right in that you can’t form the same kind of relationships when you do that. Still, there are times when I want to write about something but am too embarrassed because I know family, friends, and some of my husband’s colleagues (???) have found my blog.
Sometimes I think that what I write about is boring or that I’m in a rut, but then I tell myself that it’s my blog, and it represents my life at the moment. Life isn’t always exciting and full of fun – sometimes it’s full of laundry and cleaning and chores and all of the mundane details that no one really talks about but everyone does. If that means that I lose readers, then so be it. It helps when you have big life changes (like moving!), but I’m trying to remind myself that it’s important to be content even when things are slow
I always enjoy reading what you write, even if it’s just posting a picture!
Wow – just realized that I left an entire BOOK of a comment! Sorry!
Erin, I can completely relate to this post! There are so many things that are on my heart and mind that I would like to discuss but I just feel like I cannot discuss them on my blog. It is just so hard to put yourself out there like that when you know there are certain people reading.
I am sending prayers and hugs your way!
I say blog first, apologize later.
We all know you are human
My blog is actually emailed to my parents and my in-laws. You can imagine what kind of trouble that gets me into!
No, you are not alone. I am in the same place right now. I know that some of my close friends and family read my blog so I purposely do not write or share certain things because I want them to be private to the people closest in my life. Isn’t that funny? I feel more comfortable deeply sharing with a world who doesn’t really know my name.
Have you tried journaling by hand? It’s something that would be for your eyes only, so you wouldn’t need to be worried about hurting another person or feeling like you were out to get pity form others. There are some fabulous, inexpensive, journals out there…give it a shot! Once you’ve written your thoughts out and you’re ready to surrender them to God, you can keep them in your journal or you can physically surrender them by shredding them, burning them, or throwing them in a river. It’s a great discipline, because it allows you to articulate your specific emotions. Sometimes seeing your thoughts physically helps you to sort through them in a systematic way.
Whether you’re out of your rut tomorrow or in two weeks, I’ll be praying for you that you gain some clarity of mind and peace of heart.
Blessings!
I think we can all relate to what you’ve expressed in this post.
I have always tried to be careful with what I write simply because I don’t want to give people a bad impression, or leave a bad taste in their mouth. I don’t have that many readers, I don’t want to turn off the few I have!
However, no matter how careful you are, if people are bound and determined to be offended by something you’ve said or done, they’re going to be. I’ve learned this the hard way. And I would LOVE to blog about my woes with the offended party, especially since I’ve had a hard time dealing with it, but I can’t because I know she continues to read my blog. It gets tricky, doesn’t it, when you know some of your readers personally and they don’t let you know how often they check in?
When I started blogging again I felt like I had to just tell the truth. I worry that people think I want there pity too. Which I don’t. It is just my story. And it is a story that other people have been thru. I am nothing special. But I definitely worry about judgement. Even though I probably share more than I should on twitter.
I expect it is probably a bit different for you because you have a child and a family and I worry about that too.
Anyway, you have a lovely blog and I always enjoy reading it
I am going through the same exact thing. I have a lot of friends and family who read my blog for family updates because we live over 600 miles away from every family member. There were a lot of things i needed to write about but couldn’t so i created a private blog written under a pen name. It has been an amazing release.
This is in my opening post on that blog….
I am a mommy blogger…i spend my writing time telling stories of happiness, milestones and adventures. I have followers; many of who are close family and friends. My words and stories are censored. I have a pasted. A past the boils inside me. A past that tries to find outlets to make itself public. A past that wants to be spoken, to be heard, although dark, does not want to be forgotten.
I totally feel you, I’m in a bit of a rut too. I haven’t been able to post my funny stories lately because of so much going on with work and school that are just negative…and it has just gotten me in a negative thinking rut. I hope all is well, praying for you.
I’ve been in a similar kind of position where I’ve been hurt but since I don’t receive a lot of followers on my blog, it was easier for me to vent in my own way. You can make the post private or password protected if you want. It really is whatever you decide to do and remember, my prayers are with you.
What a funny guy. He looks so grown up in that shot!
My son had a brief, but hilarious, obsession with licking glass when he was about 9 months old. It was the strangest thing and it was so bad, it made me have to switch to vinegar/water to clean our windows.
Hudson looks adorable!
Goodness, I am so right there with you. I would really love to open my heart and say what I’m really feeling, but yep, I’d be worried about the family/friends that read this and about ostracizing some of my blog friends. I wish there was a solution, but there’s not. You have a lovely blog. I love hearing about Hudson’s day (and yours too!) That picture is just so precious!
Speaking of obscene gestures, Lallie seems to think that the number 1 is the middle finger, not the index finger. THat’s always fun when we’re counting in public!!
There is such a fine line between being genuine and exposing yourself too much. This must be especially difficult with a blog as popular as yours. Often times, I write a soul-baring post and sit on it for weeks, praying about whether I should post it. I know God can use us to encourage and challenge others through our blogs, but that does require a measure of vulnerability. Although, pictures of adorable children are always a good substitute!
word
word
Word
WORD!
You know how I feel. I love you
xoxo
I feel the same way too! I have so much I want to blog about but I just dont know if it’s right to or not because it might come off sounding poorly or it’s not my place to blog about it. I just hope all is well with you and your family, especially that darling boy of yours. My aunt always tells me, “this too shall pass,” and I realize now more than ever that she is so very right.
While cruising the blog world lately I have found a number of bloggers in a funk. Maybe it is just something in the air. I am so sorry that you are feeling the wrath of others. I learned a very valuable lesson along time ago. It was helpful in not taking EVERYTHING to heart. HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. In other words it isn’t you it is them. You would be surprised at what people are jealous of and how they blame others for what they don’t have. Keep your eye on the prize…Jesus will protect your heart. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting a blog that no one in my family or friends knows about. I feel like it would be freeing. Sometimes I just have to resort back to paper journals for those types of venting and just really letting my thoughts out. Sometimes though maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we were vulnerable.
I blog about things that really matter to me and opinions that might not be shared by the people who I know are reading, and then I delete it without publishing it. Sometimes just typing it up and coming close to publishing it is all I need to make myself feel better.
(I also have a few handwritten journals.)
Hudson is going to love that pic when he gets older! LOL. I know how you feel. I purposely do not write down hurts and disappointments on my blog, I just choose to just give it to God first. However, if I feel like I have a testimony that will benefit someone, I will tell it. I know in life and marriage, you will have ups and downs, but I know I will get through all of that with prayer. For people who can put it all out there, they are really brave. I know for some people it is better for them to reach out and let other ppl know what is going on so they can have several ppl praying for them and get advice. Collective prayer is very powerful.
There is not a right or wrong answer!
I know exactly what you mean- it would be nice to be able to really express ourselves without fear that someone will pass it on or judge. I’m with you- I mainly worry about people I know in real life reading.
I’m sorry that there are some no bueno things going on in your life right now. Who’s a$% do I need to kick? I might be little, but, I’m fiesty!!
PS. That picture (and the quote!) kills me!
You are a beautiful spirit, Erin!!!! Just precious and know that you are not alone in your feelings and stay encouraged!!!
Erin I know exactly how you feel. I know that a certain person who hates me reads my blog and makes fun of it to her friends (and she’s my guy’s best friend’s girl so I can’t just avoid her) and thinking about how someone is going to spin my words and make fun of me makes me very careful about what I choose to post. I used to feel like I could be a lot more honest but now I don’t. I don’t really have a solution but I wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way!
That pic of Hudson is adorable -too cute! I’m having a surprise give-away for my birthday if you’d like to enter
I appreciate that you actually think about who reads your blog and how they might react to it – unfortunately, not everyone sees things that way and I’ve gotten hurt a few times because of it!
Adorable picture – wonder how it tasted?
Oh how I can relate! I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and a lot of it I would like to share on my blog but I too have fears and reservations about doing so. Yes, some of the information is private so I journal on paper instead of allowing the whole internet to see it. But their are also things that I feel I need to share. Some people maybe going through the same things as I am. We are all human, we all make mistakes, but we learn from them and we grow. If you haven’t read “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan, go get it!! God has really shown me that having faith often meanings doing what others see as crazy…something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers!
I can relate as well! Lately, I’ve made some observations about people in my life… they aren’t exactly close friends that I have selected for myself. Instead, they are my husband and my guy friend’s girlfriends or wives. These are people that will be in my life for many years to come, as we have very strong friendships with the guys, and their “girls” are here for the long run. There are so many things that I wish I could write about and talk about in regards to this situation, but I fear that they might one day find my blog and know I am talking about them. So I don’t. Sort of like self-censorship. I don’t like it, but I’m not sure what to do about it.
So sorry to hear that you have a heavy heart. Perhaps you could write it all down and not post it? Sometimes just writing it out, even if no one is going to read it, can help. Hugs!
Super. Cute. Pic.
Such a cute pic!
And no, you’re not alone. There’s not much I don’t write about, there are somethings that I don’t simply b/c of my IRL friends or family that I know read. We all go through ruts sometimes, but I always love reading about whatever it is that write!
He is so adorable.
XOXO
What a darling picture of your sweet boy!
I completely understand and second your apprehensions about sometimes writing about what’s truly on your heat on the blog… it’s hard to decide what to do!
Ha. I love this picture. And I love reading your blog, no matter what.
I love the picture of Hudson, Erin… and I can relate to your blogging rut and feeling like there are some things you just can’t write on your blog. I’m in a similar rut and I also feel like there is so much going on in my life that just doesn’t belong on the blog for one reason or another. Write it anyway, just to work through it, but don’t post it. Just save it as a draft or in a Word document. That helps me.
I know how you feel. I’m struggling with some things right now too and Iwould love to be able to get it off my mind knowing the amount of support the blogging community can offer. But at the same time, I’m not ready to share these things with friends and family who read since they will undoubtedly jump to conclusions. I think that’s why I’ve been in a rut as well. When things are on your mind so much it’s hard to think of other things until they pass.
I like Erin’s advice of writing it and just not posting it. I might try that as well.
Love this photo of Hudson!
Absolutely NOT alone!
Lately I have been feeling the EXACT same way!!
Sometimes I type posts and do not publish them & sometimes I just don’t type anything at all!!
I have actually thought of creating a private blog, but I know I would not update two blogs, I’m barely updating the one I have.
Sigh. Guess there are pros and cons to blogging and letting those you have relationship in real life with know about them.
Let me know if you find a solution.
So so so so not alone.
Erin-I love your blog. I will go back and look through your gorgeous wedding photos as I prepare for my own wedding in 10 days……and I love reading what you’ve written. I’d be sad if you went private just because I so love reading your writing!! Thank you for being open and honest.
I feel the same way. My blog started very anonymous, then friends found out about it, now I’m somewhere in limbo btwn. I still don’t use our names, but enough friends read that I just can’t say whatever I want. I love your blog and I love your honesty. Keep doing what you’re doing!
Um, we must be drinking the same water, tea or something. I too have been having the feeling about our second baby. I had always thought of children would be five years apart and five years will be in December. But, it looks like we might wait another year. The practicality totally makes sense, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking baby everyday! It’s always on the brain, it’s like what you said before about the goals we have in our life. You check things off and it is time for the next one.
I also worry about what to blog about. What would other people think if they read my thoughts? I have a low amount of followers and I don’t want to lose that by voicing my thoughts, but how do some bloggers do it? I haven’t even told my friends or family I blog just to avoid any issues. I do love your blog and I encourage you to do whatever your heart tells you. True friends, followers or families will respect and care for you anyway.
Funny you wrote this as this came up to bite me in the butt this week. Pretty much no one in my life knows I blog, which I like. I like that I can be so open with you ladies and I now feel like y’all are my close, close friends. But once upon a time I gave my parents the address to check in on us. And I so wish I hadn’t. They read something they didn’t agree with and it’s caused a bit of conflict. But I use my blog as my journal. So boo. Now I really wish they didn’t know about it…
Oh girl I feel you – there’s this weird balance between sharing too much and not sharing enough. You have to be able to get out our emotions/thoughts etc – without offending people who you know read your blog and know you in real life — totally hard! I’ll be praying for you girly! ps – Hudson is such a cutie!
I’m sorry dear! I hope everything gets better soon
Case in point of why I don’t clean my sliding glass door as often as I should. My lil’ dude has it messed up again in no time!
Loving that adorable picture! Maybe if you can’t write what you want on your blog go the old fashioned way and get an actual journal to write it all down in. You might feel some relief just getting it down on paper. No one has to read that journal.
A funny story about sharing. I normally post generic posts that don’t name names and give specifics. The one time I did this in the last few months, it was about the healthcare controversy. Namely that a lot of my family had benefited from Obama but still complained about him. I didn’t allow comments. Thinking that people would stop and think before they contacted me. Nope. I received two angry emails, one from a friend and another from an aunt. I responded to both in a nice way. My aunt then emailed me back and asked if I was bitter. Sometimes it feels like you’ve been punched. That’s the cost of sharing online. It sounds like Jenna gets a lot of this on her blog too.