Comments on: hello, contentment? are you there? {volume 2}

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:31:49 +0000

I have been reading your blog for a while, but this is my first time commenting! I have been struggling with this one a lot lately. I have a Bachelors degree; however, I am working in a job that only requires an Associates. I have been happily married for two years and my husband has a great job. We will never be millionaires, but we have a nice home and manage to maintain a comfortable lifestyle. Recently, I went to a wedding and saw several friends from college. They are all now doctors, lawyers, etc. and for the first time I felt really inadequate. I always thought I would go to grad school at some point, but I still haven’t figured out “what I want to be when I grow up.” I don’t want to waste time or money on a degree that I may never use or love. In the past, I gave myself a deadline to make a decision about school– well at this point, I’ve past all of those deadlines and I still haven’t made a decision and I’m still working in the same job. Maybe I’ve become too comfortable? Now my husband and I have reached a point where we are discussing children, and I get so excited about the thought of starting our own little family! But if I am ever going to go back to school I feel like maybe I should do it before having children since I know it’ll be a lot harder after babies arrive. The thought of waiting another 3-4 years to start a family though makes me very sad. So I don’t know what to do at this point, and I really wish I could just feel “content” and be happy with who I am and what I do, and just trust God to take control. I think contentment is something that everyone struggles with at some point.

By: Amy (Metz) Walker

Amy (Metz) Walker — Fri, 21 May 2010 12:55:47 +0000

Obviously I can’t help you with this dilemma from personal experience but I do know that getting pregnant around the beginning of year 2 seems to be a really good time. That way, they are old enough to walk some, communicate, are already beginning (or are) potty training. My brother and I are 2 years, 9 months apart and that was close enough we had things in common but far enough apart we had our own lifes, friends, etc…

OH, and 11-11-11 would DEFINITELY sounds like thats definitely going to be your golden year!

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 21 May 2010 12:01:11 +0000

BEB,

Good for you! That’s what I’m talking about—making your decision all the while in prayerful consideration of God’s will.

I think perhaps you misunderstood my post. (Yes, it was a bogus email–didn’t want to put my personal and only email out in the public, sorry). I think as believers so many times we’re told to “Give your decision to God” etc, and for someone like me who has a hard time making decisions, that’s needed a lot of clarifcation. What does it actually look like? Does it mean I pray and pray and consternate and make a last minute stressed decision b/c I still don’t feel I have the *right* answer? Or does it mean I weigh my options, every prayerful and mindful of the Lord, make a decision and then hope for the best?

What I’m trying to say is that of course I believe in “giving it to God” but I feel like that phrase gets tossed around communities of believers without an explanation of exactly what that means. For indecisive people like me, it has meant that I stress and stress and don’t make a decision until the last minute b/c I have a very difficult time discerning what the *right* decision is. (Even through prayer and bible scripture studies, etc. Making difficult decisions is, for me, very difficult!)

That’s why I posted this comment–b/c it came on the heels of a Godly individual counseling me that indeed, God doesn’t always have just *one* right path for us to take. He gives us free will and desires that we communicate with him through prayer. And maybe, just maybe, he has two (or more!) different paths lined up, so that no matter what decision we make, he has already walked that path before us?

Does that clarify what I’m saying? I’m not criticizing your post, I was just trying to air some of my frustrations with decision making and following God’s will.

I can always PM you my personal email if you l ike.

Cheers,

SS.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 21 May 2010 01:01:54 +0000

My boys are 3 and 1/2 years apart and they are the BEST of friends. It was a PERFECT gap. One was in pre-school when the other was born so they both got to have me all to themselves for their babyhood. They are very close but not very competitive. it is a great age spread. Just sayin……

By: Ashley

Ashley — Thu, 20 May 2010 20:41:43 +0000

Erin – I love your blog. I feel like I can relate to so much of what you say. I am so thankful that there is someone out there! I am not necessarily on the baby train seeing as I am not married yet. My singleness is something I struggle with daily. So many of my friends are getting married that it is hard not to feel all alone, especially when my family pressures me regularly to find someone and get married. I know that God indeed has a plans for us, just wish He could clue us in!

By: Krissy

Krissy — Thu, 20 May 2010 20:11:46 +0000

I always had the thoughts of when the right time would be to get pregnant with our second. I love being able to plan everything out too. We were surprised with our first, so I wanted to be more than ready for the second when the time was right. They are just under 3 years apart and I highly recommend that age difference. Jake was fully potty trained shortly after she was born, thank goodness. I cannot imagine buying diapers for 2. Plus, at his age, he is able to communicate with us and let us know if he needs something or can tell us when something is wrong…which is a huge help.

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 20 May 2010 19:59:09 +0000

I just started reading your blog! Its funny that this is the *second* post I’ve read being that we are trying to figure out when to add the *second* child to our family. I think to much too! It’s not just you. A lot of my friends are contemplating the same question, and recently every playdate has revovled around that same very question.

We have friends who’ve already had 2 children, and keep trying to tell us *that magic number of months apart to have our children*. So, I can completely relate to this post.

As to the answer….we are still contemplating. Our daughter turned 1 at the end of February. We are thinking a spring baby would be nice, but a late summer baby would be nice. Eventually, with time you will figure it out as will we. I’ve been told you just know when it is the *time* is right. Your body/mind tells you. Good luck!

By: Blue-Eyed Bride

Blue-Eyed Bride — Thu, 20 May 2010 19:55:22 +0000

Sally (or SallySue)-

Your email wasn’t an actual email address, so I had to post this for you here:

I’m not saying that I’m going to sit back and not live my life or make decisions. I’m just saying I’m not going to worry too much about it and I’m going to live my life and do what I want, while praying that God will take us down the right path. But maybe Napa isn’t the best destination for us in the fall of 2011.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 20 May 2010 17:13:05 +0000

Erin- I love the honesty of your posts. I thought about your “contentment” topic when I saw the new Sex & the City 2 trailer. I mean, when Carrie has Aidan, she wants Big; when she has Big, she wants Aidan. Charlotte prays for children for years and now she can’t wait to get away from them for vacation. I thought, will these women ever be content?? But I have definitely been there (I wanted this job but I want to be back in South Carolina, for example) and think it’s normal to feel this way sometimes. That’s what keeps us working to achieve things we hope to achieve and become the people we want to be.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 20 May 2010 17:12:40 +0000

I have been having the exact same thoughts. My youngest is FOUR now, and I want another baby SO badly, but I sit and wonder when would be the best time… Only to think myself in circles about the whole ordeal! My girls are 2.5 years apart and I think it is a WONDERFUL spacing between them. They truly are the best of friends, and it makes me think “Oh no, did I wait too long? How is it going to work with at least 5 years between the youngest and a baby?”

It’s absolutely no consolation, but thinking these thoughts just lead me back to what I know I’ve got to do… Let go! He will let us know when the time is right!