Boy mom.
I hear this title used a lot. It’s not a title I ever thought I’d have. I always imagined myself having two girls and then having a baby boy. You know, when I’d play M*A*S*H in school and plan out my life with a mansion, a Ferrari (just like the one in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) and my two girls and one boy.
I’ve been writing this post in my head for so long and I’ve just been afraid to put it all down. But I do want to talk about it.
When I first got pregnant with Hudson, I was convinced I was having a baby girl. I only browsed the girl aisles in stores and was looking at bows and sweet shoes. I would talk with my mom for an hour on the phone every day and imagine my life someday having the same conversations with my daughter.
And then we found out that we were having a baby boy. My first thought, if I’m being honest, was, “I don’t know anything about little boys. What do they like?”
But I figured it out. I figured out that he is mine and he is a perfect little person who has crazy wild moments and super sweet tender moments. After a day of letting it set in that I was not having a girl, I finally understood that the gender just did not matter at all. I mean, duh. This should be obvious, right?
With Hayes, I just always knew that he was going to be a boy. It was just a feeling I had. I knew that Hudson was going to have a brother and they would (hopefully) become best buddies. Hayes is so different than Hudson was because he, too, is his own little person. But I wanted him to be a boy. I knew that if another little boy was anything like Hudson, it would just be the best thing in the world.
I was talking with a friend the other day. She’s a boy mom, too. And we discussed the part of being a boy mom that is “hard.” It’s the pressure from other people. And there’s the “loss” and mourning of that future mother/daughter relationship when I’m 50 and I’m an empty-nester.
Because I’m in the social media world a lot, I get to eavesdrop on conversations. I have seen so many sweet friends announce their pregnancies and then announce the sex of their baby. And, I honestly don’t think I’m making this up, I see a lot of people say, “oh! I hope it’s a girl!” And that really hurts this boy mom’s feelings. Why would someone else hope that the pregnant gal would be having a girl? Why wouldn’t someone want a boy? What happened to just wanting a healthy baby?
And what about these statements from a pregnant celebrity/girl mom?
When I got pregnant with Hayes, I felt this strange, unspoken pressure/hope/rooting from other people for him to be a girl. A lot of people said, “I know this is a girl” and when I did announce that he was a boy, people even said, “don’t worry, baby number three will be a girl.”
My friends aren’t saying this to be rude. And there may always be a place in my heart that I have reserved for a daughter. But if I have four boys someday, I will be happy. And maybe I will even be spoiled by them someday?
I know that if I don’t ever have a daughter, my life will still be complete and wonderful and full of happiness.
I read this article and felt like someone finally got my thoughts out there.
I adore my family and I adore my boys. The sweetness mixed with the hilarity can’t be matched and that has nothing to do with them being boys. It’s just because of who they are and who they’re growing up to become.
I’ve said before that I want what my own mom and I have with a daughter someday. And I may always want that if I don’t have a daughter. And if I never get to use my girl name that’s on reserve, I’ll just buy a fish and give it the name!
Kidding.
Maybe.
I often feel the need to shout from the rooftops about how wonderful boys are. I know that prom planning, wedding planning and grandbaby planning won’t be as much fun without a daughter to keep me in the loop and gab with on the phone for hours, but believe me. I am counting my blessings. My precious guys are everything I have prayed for my whole life and never knew it.
Tonight, we were playing hide and seek in the house with my mom and Hudson. My wild boy was having the absolute best time. The smile on his face as he ran through the house just made my heart explode. And later in the evening, when he had calmed down some, he was sitting in my lap and we were singing songs. He accidentally hit me in the face and I pretended to cry. (I know, that’s kind of mean.) But he immediately said, “What’s the matter, Mommy? I’m sorry, Mommy.” Gah. My heart.
Are there any other boy moms who have felt this way? Has anyone ever looked at you and laughed because you have all boys? (If not, consider yourself lucky) We can even discuss the annoying boy clothes that mostly look like teenage boy clothes or a costume. What’s with all the writing on everything?
I was talking to my friend, Molly, the other day and I have decided that if there is a baby number three, I’d really like to not find out the sex before he or she is born. It’s truly the last real surprise! I think it would be so much fun.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Hey, y'all, I'm Erin. Thanks for stopping by! I'm a Believer, a boy mom and former event planner turned stay-at-home mom. I blog about our lives, my family, my faith, fun finds, and kitchen disasters. You can read more on my 'About' page 
LOVE IT! So true! From one boy-Momma to another, we are proud of our little men! Thanks for the inspiration to write-out my own thoughts about being a Boy Mom!
I’m a boy mom and your sentiments are mine exactly! I am due to have baby #3 in 6 weeks (the sex will be a surprise) and I feel the pressure that this one be a girl but personally, I will be perfectly content with a healthy, laid back baby.
For some reason, if you don’t have at least one child of each gender, there is the perception that your family isn’t “complete”. I never pictured myself the mother of two (or three) boys but now I can’t imagine it any other way.
if we have children, i PRAY for boys!!!
I enjoyed this post. It really made me think. I am a Daddy’s girl and always had a very difficult relationship with my mother. I never thought about it until I read your post, but perhaps for that reason I was extremely happy and (dare I say) relieved when I found out my son was a boy. I am currently pregnant and all I want is a healthy baby, but to be honest I worry over whether this one will be a girl and I won’t know how to parent a girl.
Society’s expectations for girls can be stifling. If I have a girl, I want her to feel like she can do anything and be anything she wants to be. But I worry about how I’ll do this when society is telling her that above all she needs to be pretty, love pink, and be “sweet.”
Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting into words what has been on my heart since the day we found out our 2nd child was a boy as well. I actually hesitated telling some people because I got that “ohh well you will just have to try for a 3rd!” reaction multiple times. I felt the need to defend my precious unborn child simply because he was a boy! I do desire the mother/daughter relationship, and maybe someday that will come. But if not, I am so thankful as the mother/son relationship is so special itself. And I must agree…somebody needs to do something about little boy clothing options!
Also, we kept the gender a suprise for our fist pregnancy…there really is nothing like not knowing until they are there in your arms!
That first picture is TO DIE FOR just wanted to say so
so precious!
I’m the mom of 3 girls, so I might not be welcome in this discussion (kidding), but I get the same reaction but backwards. The, “Aw, are you gonna try for a boy?” As if I messed up the first three by having the wrong gender. I think people just think that happiness is having one of each… but God gives us what we need… and I’m thankful for that because He obviously knows better than me!
Erin, great post. I have 2 girls and when I was pregnant with #3 everyone was rooting for a boy saying things like “oh your husband really wants that boy I bet!”. I would just nod. After all the fertility issues, etc. it really wasn’t a thought. I mean, it is what it is and you can’t change it, obviously. They’re people, not a sweater or some other object. Well, #3 did end up being a boy and people kept saying the same things. I just keep nodding…
I got a girl first and I was praying hard for a boy; I got him the second time. Girls and boys are so different to raise, but I can’t imagine not having a son. I love both my children, but the bond with a boy and his mama is so different from a girl. If I had a third blessing I think I would want another boy.
I was convinced my son was a girl until we found out. I thought I would be upset but I was SO happy. He is now one and I love having a boy. If we have another I hope it’s a boy.
And even if you have all boys, you never know, they might marry a wonderful woman who looks at you like her own mother. You will have an opportunity to have a special relationship with her and be a part of all the planning.
I always wanted a boy! I have three girls and everyone feels sorry for me too. They say oh your poor husband. What about me I have three daddy girls I wanted a mama’s boy. So I don’t think other people are ever happy with what you get. I am happy to have three girls my husband too. He likes all one sex, he is one of 4 boys. Makes them closer.
Loved this post! As a “boy Mom” (with boy number two on the way!), and my sister being a fellow “boy Mom” (two boys as well!), it’s great to see posts like this. It definitely rings true in my life!
My SIL always talks about how she wants a girl because girls can do both the girly stuff and they can play sports. After we told her that we’re expecting she brought this up again and I told her, “Even if you do get a girl, there’s no guarantee that she’ll want to play sports and do all the things you want her to do.” Same goes with men wanting sons that will play sports, or mom envisioning planning a wedding with their daughter. Your son may never want to play sports, your daughter may never want to get married. If you’re blessed with children, and your children are blessed with health, you are blessed.
You’ve obviously “spoken” to many of us today with your post. I’m glad to know I’m not the only boy mom who’s first thought was “oh, really, it’s a boy?” I was sure I was having a girl. I mean every fiber of my being new it was a girl. But 6 nurses agreed, it was a boy. And while I still get sad that I don’t get to buy bows and dresses, or chat about the day she’d {hopefully} pledge Chi O and learn all of the secrets my mom and I share. I love seeing my son and the way he reminds me of his Dad already. I can’t wait to see him grow up. In fact, I’ve decided having a boy is just what I needed in life
Being a boy mom isn’t nearly as awful as girl moms make it out to be!
Oh my gosh! You said it perfectly! When we found out that our long prayed-for 2nd son was a boy, it annoyed me to no end that people would ask if I was disappointed he wasn’t a girl. Are you kidding me? All I wanted was a healthy baby! It’s human nature I know, but still!!! I never “wanted” a girl. I have been thrilled to have 2 boys! I love them! The only thing that makes me sad is to know that girls do usually spend more times with their moms as adults than boys do. But I am praying that God sends a perfect wife to both of my boys that will love me and want to spend time with me as well. That is the only thing about having 2 boys that makes me sad. It’s for the future, not for the present. God cares about all of the details, so I pray for this a lot! I love my mother-in-law, and we do see her a good bit. But we do see my mom more:)
What precious pictures! Being a mom is such an incredible blessing – whether boys or girls. I remember when I was pregnant with my second (a girl, same as my first) someone said – “Well, maybe next time you’ll get a boy” and I was so shocked – what a horrible thing to say. I was so thrilled with my second little girl. When I found out my third would be a boy I felt kind of like you… what in the world do I do with a boy?! I just assumed we would be having three girls. Now I feel so lucky. Little boys are amazing – they do love their mamas! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a “boy mom” too! xo
Oh, I forgot this when was typing above. When we had our ultrasound for boy #2, the ultrasound girl knew that my husband REALLY wanted a girl. So, when my husband and I both vividly saw the “boy parts” on the screen, we said, “Is that what we think it is.” Her reply was, “Well, you can look forward to having granddaughters one day.” That was the perfect response!!! Not, oh, sorry you aren’t having a girl. She knew that he was our caboose, and she came up with a very fitting response:)
I love this. I love how open and honest you are with us. I love your little boys and that you’re sharing them with us. I can just imagine them as little men, and how wonderful they will be because they were raised by amazing people like you and Todd.
I sometimes wish I wasn’t a “food” blogger so I could write really personal things like this. My post would be more along the lines of “Holy sh*t, it just occurred to me that I might never get to be a Mom and I think I’m ok with it… but I think I’m also not ok with it and I know I can’t MAKE someone marry me and make me a wife and mother and it seems like the only thing I have no control over in my life right now.” But if I wrote that post, I wouldn’t be seen as brave, or as honest or as inspirational. People would just think I was sad and pathetic. And I’m not either one of those things. I have a very lovely life.
Sorry I just had a therapy session with myself on your blog.
E
Erin! I LOVED THIS POST! I am a first time mommy to my precious 4 month old baby boy. We didn’t find out the gender before he was born. It was the BEST surprise of my life and I would recommend it to anyone! I definitely plan to do it again if we are blessed with more children someday! I was really amazed by what some people would say to me before he was born. I would hear things like, “I’m praying it’s a girl for you!” or “It’s okay if it’s a boy because it’s your first one and you still have another chance.” I thought these things were strange at the time, but now that I have a boy, those comments really hurt my feelings! I absolutely love being a boy mom. There is something really special about a mommy/son relationship. I can already feel it even though he’s just four months old!
I tell my husband all the time how fun I think it would be to have four boys! Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. Also, I totally agree with you about the writing that is all over boy clothes these days! It’s one of my biggest pet peeves! My mom and I have decided that dressing baby boys can be just as much fun as girls, but we just have to search a little harder to find what we want!
It was like you went into my head and read my exact thoughts! I have 2 boys as well. Hearing ” Oh, I’m sorry” or “That sucks” when I announced I was having another boy drove me mad. Really? Why are you sorry? It’s a baby! I can handle the breastfeeding vs. formula/ working mom vs. sahm debates but this is my biggest pet peeve. Thank you for this!
Thank you!!! Well said Erin. My little boy is only three months old but I can’t tell you how many people ask me if I was disappointed he wasn’t a girl. It’s sad really. Would I like to have a little girl someday? Yes. Am I disappointed I have a boy? NO!!! He is the sweetest, happiest child. I love him so much and can’t imagine my life without him. When I was pregnant, everyone kept telling me “you’re having a girl, I just know it.” Most were surprised when I announced i was having my little man but I knew in my gut I was having a boy. I felt it from the start.
I really don’t like boys clothing selections though. It’s awful. Us boy moms need more choices people!!!!! What if I don’t want animals/skulls/writing all over my child’s clothes?
Beautifully written, Erin!
Such a great post. I really struggled with adopting a girl because I love being the mom of a boy so much. But in the end, I realized that no matter what we decided we would be complete. I love, love, love having a boy, and I know I’ll love having a girl. But I hate that boys are always the consolation prize and girls are the gold medal. I hate when people say they “couldn’t handle a boy”. I don’t think most people understand how awesome little boys are.
I am a boy mom of two boys also! (6 1/2 and 2 1/2) I, like you, always wanted a little girl to paint fingernails and toenails, to wear big hair bows and to have a great relationship with me…like I do with my mom. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, Carson, I knew it was a boy! And for some strange reason, I was perfectly fine with it! My mom and my grandma were both disappointed that it was a boy. (I am an only child, my mom is the only girl of 3 and the baby at that.) They quickly got over the disappointment after seeing that I was thrilled.
When I found out I was pregnant with number 2, Owen, I had a little chat with them! I informed them that I felt, like you, it was another boy…I was once again perfectly fine with that! I knew this was definitely my last pregnancy and I was at peace with having another precious boy! I honestly do not know what in the world I would do with a little girl now! I love my boys and pretty much everything about them:)
Just wait until Hudson is 6 1/2…check out the clothing choices for that age!!! Horrible!! And unfortunately, attitude comes with it:(
I love being a “boys mom” and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
As a mom of 2 boys, 3 and 3mo, I know exactly what it feels like to have everyone assure you – next will be a girl! I felt the same as you when I found out the gender of my first but I think it is b/c we ARE girls that we naturally are more familiar with what baby girls entail. I adore my little “bubs” so much, I could never imagine if they had been girls now, in fact, I actually feel opposite in that- what do I do with a girl? (besides dress her up, of course!) (I bet thats what’s going on with jgarner) We had so much difficulty concieving my second baby and when we found out he was boy, it was just the most wonderful tearful news. I just told everyone, no we didn’t want a girl- just a healthy baby, which I truly meant. I think sometimes people say those things just to have something to say (I might be guilty of this before having kids).
before knowing the gender of #1, I also would drool over all the baby girl clothes and was seriously irritated at the ugliness available for purchase for my precious baby boy. I had to just avert my eyes from the girls section to get over this. I am having a much easier time finding cute things for #2 (born in a different season, so all new clothes!) simply b/c I know where to look now. However, my 3 yr old (size 4 or 5t) is a different story- why do they think we want to dress our preschool boys in all that edgy punk yuckiness??? I prefer clean and preppy or, at least, just boyish but even that is hard to find. I suppose I am just too traditional or maybe its b/c I am southern. I could go on (as I already have! so I will stop now!)
Love this. I don’t have kids. At least not yet. I’m a newlywed that’s married to a law student and a grad student myself. We both have 2 more years in our programs, so our plan is to wait until we graduate, but then starting our family. And I, unlike most girls it seems, I hope for boys. Yes, I will love any child that God decides I’m allowed to take care of, but girls scare me. I have always had more of a connection to boys, and I feel like I could understand them more. I feel like I’m now just the opposite version of the people you have encountered, but I love the idea of being a “boy mom”. Frills don’t get me. Soccer games and mud pies melt my heart.
And thank you, as always, being honest about being a mom. Makes me look forward to the future and realize that there will be mistakes along the way and that i won’t be the only one trying to figure it all out. I certainly hope you’re still blogging in two years because I will need your help!
I love this post today!
When I was pregnant with my first and second, we didn’t find out what we were having, but just “knew” both times that we were having boys…so much in fact that I had already decorated the nurseries for a boy. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with a boy…I had 2 sisters after all, and nannied for a family for 3 years that also had 3 girls. I had never even babysat a boy before having my own.
I love being a mom to my boys….and when we were pregnant with Addison everyone kept telling me that “you finally got your girl” and it always hurt my feelings. My boys are so sweet and fun, and I remind myself daily that we are raising them to be some sweet little girl’s husband one day. We try to teach them about being leaders in their homes, as that will be their role in the future. After being a “boy mom” for almost 9 years now…I can’t imagine it any other way. It has been so fun to watch them grow and become young men.
Enjoy every minute with your boys….they love their moms so much!
Thanks for sharing. I am a boy mom. I have a three year old named Hudson and we are expecting another boy in December. When we found out this was a boy I cried. Deep down I was hoping for a girl and we had a miscarriage in November 2010 and I have always felt that was our girl. I don’t know that I was so much disappointed that this was boy but that I was sad for the little girl that I may not ever have. I am glad that I am not alone in my feelings. Your blog is an inspiration to me. I needed this today! As my wild man is playing with trains and blocks and screaming at the top of his lungs:)
Maybe it’s all perspective; you’d be more prone to picking up on comments supposedly disparaging boys. Anyway, FYI:
http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20070706/boys-top-baby-gender-preference-poll
I relate with this post sooooo very much! I am a boy mom – although I only have one boy, I felt the very same way when I was pregnant with Kason. We are currently ttc #2 and I have to say I am hoping it is another boy…..I would love a best friend and playmate for my little guy. BUT I also want a girl and that mother/daughter relationship…..I had a sister growing up and I also knew nothing about boys but I have found I adjusted well. I keep having a dream that I have 4 boys, so if Baby #2 and #3 are boys – I think I am done there
At the end of the day I just want happy and healthy babies and whatever gender – it doesn’t matter!
I think when people say that they hope you have a girl, it’s not because girls are so great as much as it is that they want you to have one of each b/c that’s the fairy tale ideal for most people.1 boy. 1 girl. Family of 4. But I have 2 girls and a boy, and I love having a boy. Our relationship is very different than it is with my daughters. I feel pressure and responsibility to teach my girls how to be women one day. I try not to criticize my body in front of them because what if they end up being built like me. I try to be lady-like so that they’ll know what that’s like. I want to be a good mom because one day (Lord-willing) they’ll be moms and I’ll be the example that they either follow or don’t. It’s incredible pressure and I’m sure we’ll butt heads more than I will with my son. I’m sure you feel pressure too with your boys. I’m not saying boys are easier by any means, but I do feel like I can just genuinely love on Jack and hug him and let him cry when my husband might tell him to toughen up. The responsibility of teaching him to be a man is my husband’s. My job is to nurture and love. And I love that about boys and moms.
Love this post! Thank you! I am a boy mom and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I can’t imagine my life being any other way!
Oh Erin, my girlfriend has two older boys and they are her world. When she found out I was pregnant with my second, she was asking me what I was wishing for. When my baby girl was born (we waited to find out), I knew in my heart she was a girl from all the dreams God placed in my head at night. For months I would be holding a little girl in my dreams and speaking sweet lullabies to her. I was scared about it in case she was a girl because I am a tomboy to the core and I know my husband wanted a boy. I fish. I camp. I shoot guns. I hate makeup. I love the dirt. I knew nothing of skirts, and bows, and dress up shoes. Then she came out and the world changed. I am so thankful that God blessed me with her and not a boy like I prayed for. Fast forward 8 months and I am pregnant again. In my dreams the other night, God told me that it is a boy. We are going to wait again with this pregnancy because I honestly can say it was the best feeling ever when you don’t know. I am waiting again because I don’t think I can take 20 weeks of disappointment if it is another girl. I always thought I would be a Boy Mom like you, but know that just having my children is a blessing. If God wants me to be a tomboy mom of two girls, he knows better than me. By the way, my friend is pregnant again unexpectedly, and I know she is praying for that girl. I have a feeling, if you at TC decided to have three children, God will give you want he knows you can handle. You are an amazing Boy Mom, and I look to your blog daily because you inspire me to be a loving, Christian wife and mother. Keep letting things like this off your chest!
From one boy loving momma to another….I CAN TOTALLY RELATE! I think people were WAY more upset than normal when I announced that baby #3 was indeed ANOTHER boy! GASP! Haha! I also felt like I just “knew” that I would have another boy and a part of me was (like you said, mourning the loss of the future relationship I would never have with a daughter) but HAPPY as heck to add another boy to our family! Boys rock my world! Thanks for posting this!
After growing up with 2 sisters so 3x the sororities, weddings, dance recitals, and cheerleading I wanted a boy so much (along with the rest of the family). Not to mention I was a cheer sponsor for 5 years and taught middle school girls. People who wish for girls have no idea how mean and sassy 13 year old girls can be. I had had enough of girls so thankfully I had a boy and want a 2nd boy so much when I have a 2nd child, lord willing, that if I have a girl I honestly might cry from disappointment. Yes, I said that in writing but it is what it is. Sometimes I do get sad thinking about when boys they get married and leave, but I’m just praying I will have a daughter in law who will want to think of me as a 2nd mother and we get along great. Several of my friends have that relationship with their mother- in- laws. I think its great.
I’ve never said anything negative to a friend about expecting a boy because I want one myself, but so often people don’t realize what they say is hurtful. I’ve found a lot of the stories written by moms (and preggos!) really helpful advice as to etiquette as well as preparing to handle negativity with poise. And lord knows girls bring their share of headaches along with the sugar and spice!
Thank you SO much for sharing this. As a mom to a two year-old boy, I have felt the same way for some time now, and you articulated it perfectly!
http://www.boymomdesigns.com/
!!!!!
Boys are rad! No expensive dance classes or recital costumes. No playground drama. My friend’s daughter who is 6, had little girls telling her last year, “You are not my friend anymore, etc.” So much less drama. But boys are so physical. I swear my goal in life is to actually tire out my son.
When I was pregnant with my son, I thought it was a girl, just like you. When we found out it was a boy everything I had imagined (pink, princesses, dolls, pink, flowers, pink…) turned to blue (the color not depression!), trucks, blues, browns, trains and planes. I LOVE being the mommy to a boy, he’s so sweet, and thoughtful and who can turn down the “paly trains mommy”. If there is a second child I will be happy with boy or girl. I know so many people struggling to concieve now. I think that next time I might even wait until the delivery to find out what gender the baby is!!
I just started reading your blog and it must have been meant to be. I’m a Mom to two boys (ages 3 and 1) and no joke, a total stranger came up to me at McDonald’s and said – well maybe your next one will be a girl. I’ll never understand this reasoning because I love my little boys. They are crazy and full of energy but they melt my heart. I can’t lie, I would love a girl at some point but if I had more boys, I think my heart would still be pretty full.
I love this post and I just love your outlook on so many things in life! You always try to look for the positive in everything and I truly admire that. I personally think you are so incredibly lucky to have your two adorable boys (not that you need to hear that from me!). Perhaps I’m weird but I actually hope to have boys when we have children one day. I’m actually pretty terrified to have a girl. I think it comes from having such a close relationship to my younger brother growing up. I never had sisters so I guess I just feel like I have a better grasp of how little boys are. Also, if our future girl is anything like me, she would be quite the handful so I’d much rather have a mini version of my husband running around! I hope you and your boys are having a great day
I think about this all the time! I only have one little baby boy (who I adore), but I do think about this topic a lot. Especially when thinking about #2!
I feel the same way! I have two little boys and I honestly felt like I had no idea what to do with a boy when I first got pregnant. I am one of 3 girls! But being a “boy mom” is the best. I love it. People always seem to feel sorry for me because I have boys. They are always telling me I have to try for a girl. But I am happy with my boys. Yes, my heart yearns for that someday relationship I have with my mom. But I have to say I am really happy with my little guys! This was really a great post, thanks for sharing!
As the mom of one girl with another baby one the way, we’re getting alot of comments too. I hear, “Now you need a boy,” or “This will be a boy and you’ll be done.” I think people just don’t know how to be quiet. Our prayer is always for a healthy baby, but I did want a girl the first time. Now, I feel myself hoping for a boy just as much. We’ll be thrilled with another girl, but this girl mom would like to experience some blue too.
Love this post Erin….I have always wanted just boys..not sure why. I grew up next to a family that had 5 boys and 1 girl and I thought they were so much fun. My husband and I will be starting our family soon and while I know I will be overjoyed with whatever God gives me, I’m dreaming of little boys
I can’t wait to read all the comments, but I just wanted to THANK YOU for this post.
I am one of two girls, my mom is one of two girls, her sister had two girls…my dad’s brother had two girls. We are a girl family. When I got pregnant, all I knew was “girl” but part of me knew I might be thrown a boy curveball. When we had our ultrasound, I realized it was too much to know that the tech, a stranger, would tell me if my expectations were going to be shaken up–so we had her write it down and hubs and I read it later at home. When I saw that “BOY!” tears sprung to my eyes, as I realized that I had no idea what to do with a boy–in a blink I mourned the girl-led family that felt so familiar in my dreams. But then I realized how now I would start a new chapter for our fam. And 9 months in, my guy is the MOST fun thing that has ever happened to me. Now I can’t even imagine having a girl, which is such a switch to me, and I find myself hoping for a someday brother for my little guy. I picture bins of legos, trains, and muddy sneakers instead of the ponytails I did before. Who knows, maybe I will have both?
Thanks again–I love being a Boy Mom, its better than I could have imagined. Now I treasure that slip of paper that changed my life in the best way.
I’m a boy mom too. I always wanted boys. I even pictured myself being a mom to only boys.
My pet-peeve is when people ask “are you going to try for a girl?”
uh…no….I may try for a baby and pray it’s healthy, but that is about all I can ask for.
And the other thing I hate is the pity people give you when you are having another one of the same gender you already have. I imagine this must get worse the more you have of one gender. No matter how you tell them you are really happy for the baby (same gender as the others), they just don’t seem to believe it.
We are pregnant with boy #2! I have received this response 3 times when answering that we were having a second boy…”Don’t worry, you can try again”. I try not to take it personally, but it does hurt my feelings. Like my boys don’t matter as much. My son Luke is the light of my life and being a boy mom has surprised me so much. I have truly enjoyed it. I do ache for some of the moments between a mom and a daughter that happen in the future, but it is because I have never experienced the moments between a mom and a son. I can’t wait
.
Ha! As I read the article you linked to I had to laugh because my 2 year old little guy was literally jumping on the couch!!! I am pregnant with our second…a baby girl. And even though I was not so secretly hoping for another boy we are excited to meet our girl in a few weeks! I’m probably the opposite of most women. I’m scared to death of having a girl after having a boy first. Love your blog and your boys are just precious!!
This is the exact reason I chose not to tell anyone what the gender of baby number two was going to be. Everyone kept saying….”Do you think it’s a girl?” “I hope it’s a girl!” I felt sooo much pressure. I knew if I had another boy I would love him as equally as much as my first son and thought it would be great to have another boy. After having a miscarriage just months earlier, I was just so thankful and blessed that we were able to have another child. We did end up with a beautiful daughter who fits our family perfectly, but I know if God had chosen to give me another boy…he would have fit us perfectly too. Thank you for sharing your heart!
This is a really neat post and I love that it’s straight from the heart. The relationship with EACH child is different whether it be boy or girl. A mother’s bond is like none other, as we all know, and your boys know that just as well as any girl would. Good for you for being thankful and counting your blessings!
I had someone ask me if I was disappointed that I was having a boy. I was so thrilled to be pregnant after battling endometriosis for several years, that I didn’t have a preference as long as the baby was healthy.
What a wonderful post! I don’t have kids yet, but I’m like you and always thought I would want a girl.
Then my sister had this nephew of mine, and he’s not even my first nephew, he’s her second son and third child, and oh my heart. He has my heart so thoroughly wrapped around his little finger and I would walk through fire to give him a life with no sadness or fear. The incredible sweetness of that little boy, the ornery grins he gives, the silly little laugh he has, the loud shrieks when he runs across the room.
Little boys aren’t so bad, at all
Word & Amen! That’s all I’ve got to say!! Rock on you awesome mommy to two boys…one of which might marry my girl(s)! Ha. Love all 4 of you!
Boys rock. It’s as simple as that! And, I just did a post a few weeks ago about all the words on clothes. Gag me!
Love your comment about using your girl name for a fish. One our friends just had a baby girl and used one of our favorite girl names. I now say we’ll just it for our next dog! I’ve always said I don’t think I’m cut out to be a “boy mom”, but you make it look so fun!
I do not have children yet, but I totally understand this! I am the manager and buyer(let me know if you are ever in Dallas for Market) for a children’s boutique. You can only imagine the things that I hear. Women will come in and look weeks before they find out what they are going to have and always look at the girl stuff. Then they act lost and upset when they are having a boy. It breaks my heart! It drives me crazy that people will spend tons of money on little girls, but not on little boys. They say that it is too expensive for them to get it dirty. Are girls not messy?! Or why don’t you have more “boy” clothes because my husband would never let me dress my son like that. For the love of God they are babies. They have the rest of their lives to look grown up, wear polos, and khakis! I love picking out cute boy clothes and hope to have boys of my own one day, but a healthy baby is all that matters in the end! P.S. I love how you dress your boys. We carry a lot of the brands you like
Interesting post. I think it just speaks to the stupid things people let fly out of their mouths without thinking first. I say that because I have a friend with 2 girls and a 1 boy and she gets it about the girls all the time. “Girls are the worst, boys are so much easier”. Their boy happens to be adopted and people always assume they chose to adopt a boy (they had no preference) and say things like “so you decided to adopt to be sure you got your boy?” I have two girls and came from a family of two girls and people always assume my husband and father were/are devistated not to have gotten their SON. (Neither are of course!) My point, I guess, is that people say stupid things no matter what the situation! I’m just so filled with gratitude for the two little blessings I have and I know you feel the same way. Always enjoy reading what’s on your mind.
I am lucky. I am the mom to one girl and three boys. When I am out with the boys (my daughter is in 2nd grade and at school all day) I hear a lot of “3 boys… you poor thing” or “All boys” or some other such comment. And I agree – it does hurt my heart. Because my boys have my heart and they have from the moment they were born. I know that my relationship with my boys is different from that with my daughter and will be. But one day when they get married, I will be welcoming 3 new daughters into my life.
I always wished for Pink! Dance recitals, Prom Dresses, Sororities, Weddings, Shopping etc…But when my son was born- none of that was important anymore! Now I eagerly look forward to T-Ball, Harry Potter, Seersucker, and Cowboy Boots! I figure I’ll have lots of fun decorating his first apartment and planning a rehearsal dinner for his wedding. And, I’m saving all of my jewelry and sorority pin etc… in case I have a granddaughter someday! The love is the same boy or girl- it is just the activities you enjoy together that change. And, I agree that the clothes are harder for a boy, but I’m up to the challenge-not really into the minature man clothes for a toddler! Great Post!
I feel ya, girl! And I loved this post. I have two little boys, 3 years and 1 year old. They truly are the lights of my life, but there will always be a part of me that mourns the daughter I always wanted and will probably not get (we think we might be done having kids). It’s hard to come to that reality, but I love how you said that your life will still be complete and wonderful. I completely agree.
I always found the opposite to be true. When I said I wanted all girls people would look at me cross eyed. And when I had my girl, even my husband (who I never would have expected to respond in such a way) was still like… “I won’t be able to do all the things I wanted to with her, like shoot guns, ride motorcycles, etc.”. I could have thrown up. Then I thought for sure my second baby would be a girl too, I was surprised to see it was a boy. When my husband found out he had special needs, he again went through a greiving process of sorts, because he didn’t get that “perfect” boy to pass all his manly ways onto. Of course he loves our children, but it is such a tainted view, and I don’t think he is alone. I always imagined having 3 girls (originally) cuz I imprinted on the idea. I was an only child, but was raised with my 2 girl cousins for a long time. It was always us 3, and I loved being referred to as “the girls”. But I think the idea of 3 boys would have been cute too. “The boys”. But now… I would be thrilled to be able to have one more or many more anything. Out of 6 pregnancies I have 2 live children, with the hopes of many more. But my point… I have always heard my friends saying they want that all important boy. I think too I am so disappointed in how alot of moms parent their boys. So I always tell my friends to raise good men. Ok, I will be done rambling now. Did you follow any of that. Ha!
I am a boy mom too and it breaks my heart that people weren’t as excited when I announced I was having my second boy. A lot of people still say “The third one will be a girl for sure” and “You will definitely have a third to try for the girl” While we haven’t made the decision yet if we will add a third, I have decided I either won’t find our the sex or won’t tell until the baby is born. It just made me feel horrible the way some people reacted. I love my boys with all my heart and they were given to me for a reason.
This can definitely go both ways! I have two little girls and I have had my feelings hurt many times by people who assume that we feel our family is incomplete without a boy. My husband adores his girls and wouldn’t trade them for the world, yet people have said things to imply he must be disappointed to have missed out on a boy twice now. I hear the “gonna try for a boy?” questions All.The.Time. And the answer is that if I were to have a third, I would be thrilled with a third girl, OR a boy an so would my husband.
Another flipside that grinds my nerves is when a friend finds out she’s having a boy, and boy moms encourage or celebrate it by saying “well you’re so lucky, because little boys just looooove their mamas”. Well my sweet girls love their mama too. That is just the most absurd thing to say and I always take offense at it.
I think the bottom line is none of us would trade what we’ve got, and there is no better gender….theyre both wonderful in their own ways.
Obviously this struck a chord with the moms out there! I ADORE being a boy mom. I cried one little tear when I found out #2 was a boy and then I didn’t look back.
I’m a mom of 3 boys, a wonderful 4 year old and 15 month twins. They are the light of my life. Every new person I meet and discuss children with asks the obligatory question “you gonna try for that girl?” I smile politely and answer “maybe” but in my heart I am sad that 3 beautiful healthy boys wouldn’t be enough of an accomplishment.
I applaud all moms no matter the sex of their children. It’s a hard enough job without worrying about the sex.
Thank you for sharing
Girl I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am a boy mom of 3 amazing snotty nosed dirty boys. My oldest is 4, middle 2, youngest almost 5 months. I too used to dream about having a daughter & having the same relationship my mom & I have but God has had a different plan. Thank you for your honesty because I can truly relate. But at the end of the day I am grateful to have 3 healthy, happy & close amazing sons. They are my world & there is something so special about a momma & her boys. God is so good & his plans are so much bigger than we can see! Thank you for sharing.
I am a boy mom and know exactly how you feel. I sometimes feel like my friends with girls are always making me feel like I am missing out on something. I just remind myself that God blessed me with Caden for a reason and for him I will be the best boy mom I can be.
I waited until the birth to find out the gender of my little one. Like you said, it truly is one of the last surprises. I also felt like it was the only time in that sweet baby’s life where people didn’t have specific expections…a time when it could be anything and everything and I wanted to preserve that a bit longer. But just a little part of me was also afraid I’d find out it was going to be a boy and I’d be disappointed. I grew up as an only child living with a single mom. Girls are all I know. I don’t know the names of construction equipment or dinosaurs. The idea of a little boy overwhelmed me. I’d rather just jump in with both feet than hem and haw about it for several months. Of course, the doctor said, “it’s a boy!” The next day in the quiet of our hospital room my husband said, I”m sorry you didn’t get your girl. I quickly replied, I’m not! Funny, now I can’t imagine anything other than a little boy.
I’d like to have 3 children one day and I always joke that I’m scared to death of 3 boys. The idea is a bit overwhelming, but nothing I’ll shy away from. If it’s half as wonderful as this has been, I’ll be the luckiest girl in town.
I’m a “boy mom”, ages 5 and almost 8, and almost every day for the last 5 years I have heard “When are you trying for a girl?” Plain and simple, never! I love my boys with all my heart, and I love the little men they are becoming. They are sweet, kind, and polite little gentlemen. My hubby sometimes teases me that I have a bad influence on the little one, as he is a momma’s boy who likes to cook, clean, and do laundry. I just remind him that he will make an awesome husband.
As for the boy clothes, I detest so many of them! My boys are not allowed to wear anything with skulls or blood/gore on it. This is getting hard with the older one as they think all boys should look punky/goth. We tend to stick to plaids, stripes, cars, and airplanes (daddy works for an airline it’s a must)
I too am a boy mom! I have two little guys who make my world complete! Nothing like my two year old little man saying, “Mommy you are so pretty!” to make my day! I do get people who say things like, “Maybe one day you’ll get your girl,” or, “Will you try again for a girl?” Are my two perfect little men not enough? I couldn’t be more fulfilled or in love with my little men! I would be perfectly happy with even more little guys. I agree, that I do and would feel super blessed with any child God blesses my husband and me with. Children are a gift from God regardless of gender. We need boys and girls just as much and they are each uniquly wonderful.
Love this!
I already have 2 sons and a stepson and am pregnant with our last child – another boy. I will forever be a Boy Mom.
when I was first pregnant years ago, I just KNEW he was a girl. I had never even imagined having a boy. I wanted a great relationship with a daughter like I have with my mom. He was a boy and just so perfect for me…. for my first child.
Pregnant with my 2nd, I had no strong feeling, but went ahead and assumed it would be a boy, since that’s what my husband was convinced of.
Cue the 3rd pregnancy. I told everyone I thought he was a boy, but deep down inside, I was certain it was a girl. I felt for sure that God would deliver me what I’d so selfishly prayed for….a daughter. I was shocked and a bit disappointed to find out it was another boy. Now that I have adjusted, I love that I”ll be surrounded by guys my whole life! I love that they will adore and protect me. And hey – much less drama to deal with down the line!
The only time I’m bothered now is when other people seem sad for me. I had friends and family actually be disappointed that it was another boy and surprised that I didn’t want to “try for a girl.”
As a mom of 2 boys, I also never envisioned myself as a “boy mom”. I have 2 brothers and my hubby has 2 brothers……..so boys are ALL we know:) I have to be honest and say that I also had a sinking feeling for a split second when I learned of baby boy #2, just because I had always dreamed of having a little girl. However, I LOVE my boys and wouldn’t ever change a thing! God knows exactly what we need – more than we do!! We will try for #3 in the next few years and I already dread the comments that people will make. Ugh! How annoying. I treasure my pregnancies and my healthy babies enough to be thankful for the gift of life, especially after 3 miscarriages in the past.
Yay boy moms!!! We need to form a sorority of our own!
…you’re so gonna kick me off here)
Erin, Here’s the deal…
#1 we must be drinking the same kool-aid b/c this has been weighing heavily on me recently. I think b/c i know we’re “done”. It’s even on my October content schedule! (maybe i’ll just post it here
#2 my 3 (ages 9, 6, and 2.5) are the lights of my life. I have felt (still feel) ALL of those things you mentioned. The comments probably hurt more than anything. The one that irks me the most is…
“Wow! Three boys? Better you than me.” My reply…yep! it IS better you than me, because I can handle it!
It makes me sad b/c Sam (9) is catching on. He has asked me if it’s bad to have boys b/c people always say things about me needing a girl.
#3 I can’t wait until the day that my boys are bigger than I am. Think about how warm fuzzy and secure that will feel!!
#4 my friend (also a boy mom) and I have a terrible wish…this is awful…it’s really just a joke but… That our boys will marry a girl who has no relationship with her mother so we can plan the wedding and name the first born. (oh my gah!!!! I just said it out loud.)
#5 I am convinced that our crowns in heaven are the glitziest and that we get pink wings!!
Not to mention–I don’t want to give up my position as queen of my castle!
Love you, girl!!! Hang in there!
XO
Erin, you are so sweet and you spoke what was on your heart so beautifully !!! My sister in law is a “boy mom” to 5 boys, with each pregnancy my Mom, her mother in law would say … Well, maybe this one will be your girl, and each time she would respond…I will be thrilled if it is another boy !!! Her sons are the most amazing young men/boys you will ever meet and that is because she has poured her love and gentleness into each and everyone one of them. She makes each of them feel special and very loved and they are such fine and loving guys and one day, her life will be filled with lots of beautiful grandbabies…and she is praying they are all boys
) I am so proud to be their aunty and I just love them to pieces.
I think you are way off, boy moms always act like they are superior to me, the one’s I have encountered. I feel just the opposite..I have 3 girls and mom’s that have boys have said to me, as if they are entitled..I am so glad I have a boy, or I couldn’t take the drama, or I would NEVER want a girl, we are so lucky we want ALL boys.. Here is what i say..they are gifts from GOD and I would have been happy with any gender..I LOVE MY GIRLS..and I would have loved a son as well!
I have a boy and a girl and we want a third baby. When people find out we are trying for another, they say “But you already have one of each”. As if that is the only goal and there is no other reason for having a child. Boy, girl, whatever. They are all wonderful! I just hope for a healthy baby each time no matter what. And having a son is awesome!
I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve always said I’d rather have all boys than all girls. I’m a girls-girl, but gah! So much drama in the puberty years that I just don’t know if I could handle it! I have a brother and he and my parents have a great relationship. I think boys have a dependency on their parents (especially their moms!) that girls don’t have as much. I think girls are just more independent and can fend for themselves a little more. Maybe that’s just my perception, but boys are just so much FUN!!
Erin, thank you for this post! I’m about to become a boy mom in 5 weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. I had a feeling from the beginning that I was having a boy and although I always thought I wanted a girl, I was so happy when the ultrasound tech confirmed that it was a boy. My friends were all rooting for a girl, but I’ve watched my friends who are boy moms and there’s just such a special bond between mother and son that I can’t wait to experience.
Erin, you often speak about the need for moms to support other moms. So why the judgment about Ms. Garner’s comments? I think you are thoughtful and insightful and this lapse seems to go against what you stand for on your blog, and I imagine in your life as well. Love your boys, let her love her girls, and let go of the judgment. I’m guessing if any one of us had every line we uttered potentially taken out of context, we too could be in line for some harsh criticism. I read your blog because I feel you offer a true haven for working moms, stay at home moms ,and women in general to cherish and value each other as human beings and I was disappointed to find this negativity on your lovely site.
My dad, the ultimate man’s man, had 2 daughters, 0 sons. I cannot tell you the number of times that people said, “So sad that he never had a little boy. He had so much to teach a son.” And they would say it in front of me and my sister! I think the worst of it was when my mom was pregnant with my sister (I’m 8 years older, so I’ve got clear memories of this) and people would say, “Y’all must be so disappointed. Don’t worry, you’re still young. You might have a boy later.” And then, when my dad’s sister had 3 sons, we had to deal with the comments at every family reunion, holiday, etc. about how awful it was that my dad couldn’t carry on the family name. Like he had in some way failed by only having girls.
In public, my dad would always laugh and say, “My girls can do anything your boys can do. Plus, they’re pretty and they smell great!” In private, my dad was very clear to me and my sister that we were in no way a disappointment. He said he had always wanted a little girl that looked just like me and here I was, what he had wanted all of his life. And when my sister was born, he was thrilled because he said that he got what he had always wanted times two!
I think that to so many people, my dad seemed like the perfect Boy Dad, just like you probably seem like the perfect Girl Mom since you enjoy “girlie” things. However, I think that just made my dad a better dad for us girls. He took both of us hunting, helped my sister become a star athlete, and I know how to fix a lot of plumbing and car problems on my own! I don’t think that was my dad trying to treat us like boys, that was just him teaching us what he knew best. I bet both of your boys will be terrificly organized, sensitive, and loving young men.
Boys rock!!! As a gal that loves all thing girly, I thought I would definitely want a girl, but having my precious Britton has taught me that I LOVE having a boy. If I had my choice I would have 2 more sons!!! I guess I kinda like being the only Princess in the house;) I might miss playing dress-up and dance recitals with a little girl , but I’m really looking forward to being the loudest/proudest cheerleader on the sidelines during t-ball and soccer games.
I was going to post something like this on our baby blog today because while I am elated to be pregnant with a little boy (our first) everyone who learns of the gender says to me “don’t worry – number 2 could always be a girl.” I am so excited to be having a little boy as they come with so many special gifts and because God has entrusted my husband and I to raise a little boy that will one day grow into the type of man that any women would want to marry.
Your boys are adorable and I am proud to be joining the league of “boy moms”
People sure love security and we seem to come up with all sorts of ways to deal with our emotions and expectations so that we can feel those parameters- and sometimes it’s just plain hard when they want to project those on us while we’re dealing with our own! Continue to delight in the Lord and in all He has entrusted to you!
We always moved when I was pregnant- and not little moves- international where I was having to sleep on an air mattress at 7 months type of moves. And between that and other things, I never had an ultra sound for any of my kids…the hardest thing was having to listen to everyone else complain they didn’t know the sex of my baby!
I’m sitting here 6 weeks (hopefully!) away from giving birth to my first, a boy, and can totally relate to you. I always knew I’d have a boy. In fact, I think that when it’s time for numbers two, three, and maybe four if God blesses us with that many, that they’ll all be boys, too. I’ve always pictured being the house that all the boys come and play at and sit around my table eating the snacks I’ve just made and running back outside to chase our dogs around. I’ve gotten lots of comments about “getting a girl next time” but I wish people would just appreciate how much fun little boys are. I’m thrilled that God has called me to know all the names of different kinds of trucks and be able to point them out while driving. I can’t wait to play t-ball out in my yard on a perfect fall day. While it would be fantastic to have a daughter, I can’t wait for the adventures that are to come with my little boy. Thanks so much for this post!
I love this post, Erin. I don’t have kids yet, but it just really touched me. Babies are such a precious gift from God….boy or girl!
I’m a boy mom too! I’ve found that the hardest part is people’s comments. Like you I always thought I’d have two girls, but no boys. I am finding out that God gives you exactly what you need. Hard lesson.
I am a boy mom too and feel the exact same way. They are so precious and I can’t imagine my life any other way. Well said!
Just read your post – got on your blog, from a blog, from a blog, etc. I understand what you are saying, but try not to let it upset you. Even though you don’t have a daughter of your own, you can have a wonderful relationship with your daughters-in-law. YOU will make that relationship what it needs to be for both of you. There is no right or wrong with genders. I have friends who have all girls – and all they ever hear is “don’t you want to try for a boy!”. It isn’t about getting a specific gender – it’s all about getting KIDS
Sounds like you are an awesome mom who loves her little boys. I have 2 girls and our third child was a boy – we didn’t find out the sex for any of them – and let me tell you, seeing that look on my husband’s face EACH time, is priceless. Yes, I’m thrilled I do get to experience both genders, but it would have been OK to have the same. And I must say – you do make pretty cute babies 
Thanks for being honest and sharing your feelings!
I’m due with my first this November, and I was thrilled to hear that he’s a little boy! I guess I’ve always envisioned myself as a boy mom- even though I grew up with just one sister and no brothers (until I was all moved out). There’s something about attending their sporting events, watching them become little gentlemen, and teaching them to raise a family the right way that seems so satisfying to me. And bonus- we don’t have to deal with the teenage girl drama!
I’m as excited as can be. Thanks for sticking up for us boy moms!
Just now reading this post and you really brought tears to my eyes! I always love how honest you are and everything you said here was just so special and shows so much love for your boys! We don’t have any kids yet but when we do, I pray for happy, healthy babies! Yes, I get equally excited about the things a mother gets to experience with boys AND girls. I’m the oldest of three girls and I remember when my mom was pregnant with my baby sister, everyone would say to my dad “I bet you are really crossing your fingers for a boy this time”. He would get so upset because all they wanted was a healthy and happy child to love.
I feel like I already know so much about being a parent just from reading your blog! You better believe that I’ll be referencing all of your old posts once my babies come along
xoxo
Erin,
I’ve been following your blog for about a year now but have never posted, until now. I have one son, 15 months, and will be blessed with my second son in February. MY BOYS will be 15 months apart! I too, pre-boy mom, could have never imagine actually having a B.O.Y. I actually said, “what do I do with a boy?”, when I found out I was pregnant. It took about five seconds of holding my sweet guy that all fears and uncertanties went away. I am proud to be a “Boy Mom” and can’t wait to see what the future holds for me and my boys. I love watching my husband with them too; just another “bonus”!
Thank you for this post! I agree and am interested in most everything you blog about but felt I had to reach out and formally thank you. Thank You!
It’s really nice to see you write this.
I’m pregnant with our first child and we won’t be finding out what the sex is until the baby is born. I am the oldest of two girls (so I understand your feelings about wanting a relationship with a daughter like me and my mom have) and my husband is the youngest of 5 (3 girls and two boys). We’re just really excited to be having this baby.
A friend and I were just talking the other day at a friends “gender reveal party” about how having a baby shouldn’t be about having a boy or a girl, but about raising future adults–adults who will be caring, kind and considerate people.
Anyway, thank you for this post. It was so nice to read. I feel like a lot of people are hoping we’re having a girl, and I HOPE everyone will be just as pleased with whatever we end up having–because we are over the moon in love with him / her already
http://www.colleenandkeith.blogspot.com
amen sister! what a wonderful post to stumble onto your blog! i grew up in the “perfect” gendered family…2 girls and then 2 boys. never being pregnant before i thought baby #1 might just be a girl. he was a he and i now think i assumed girl…not because of wants or even gut feelings…but because i have never felt so “girly” as when i was pregnant. he’s here now…and ctc is almost 2. so shortly after he was born i remember being so grateful that God got to choose his gender and not us. i am so grateful that my son is a boy. and as he grows i know i could totally be that “boy mom”! i could have all boys and feel so blessed…and not one bit short-sided. i have many opportunities to be an auntie to a girl! a similar correlation in mind…is the fact that my child is biologically mine. i distinctly remember standing in ctc’s nursery when he was weeks old and realizing that i don’t love him because he is genetically from me…i love him because he’s mine. i wouldn’t love him any less if he had not been born from me. just the same…i don’t love him anymore or any less because he is a boy. i love him simply…because he’s mine! God the gift-giver knew exactly what and who we needed…and for that i am most grateful!
btw…your BOYS are precious!!!
Wow–your words caame out of my mouth 3 years ago! I had two precious boys, whom we had so struggled to conceive, and after 4 heartbreaking miscarriages, we were pregnant with our third boy. People actually told me they were sorry when I told them I was having another boy! It really hurt my feelings too. So when a surprise 4th pregnancy happened, we determined we would not, for the first time, find out the sex of the baby. I just knew it would be a fourth boy and was thrilled with the prospect. I did not want to hear the disappointment in people’s voices when we said it was another boy, so my not finding out was sort of my solution for that issue! God surprised us with the pregnancy and then again by giving us a girl. She is a delight and I would change nothing about our family dynamics now. But make no mistake, my family would have been no less perfect had it been all crazy boys. God knows just exactly what you need and which littles souls you are best wired to mold into His little warriors! I, for one, am thankful for His perfect design.
I love being a boy mom. I was terrified at first since I’m a girl and only have a sister, but now the thought of a girl scares me!
I am on the opposite side of the spectrum…I have three girls! We actually didn’t find out what we were having during the third pregnancy, and everyone thought she was a boy. I always considered myself to be a “boy mom.” I played sports growing up, love watching sports, and my husband is obsessed with sports. I understand that having boys isn’t all about sports, and some little boys don’t even like them! However, because I was more of an athletic child, I just assumed that I would have boys.
I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade my experience of having three girls for anything. But I can also honestly say that if I had three boys, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything either. Children are blessings. No matter what, I feel tremendously blessed to be called “Mommy.”
One day, I will probably be able to experience ballet recitals, shopping for prom dresses, getting pedicures together, planning weddings, etc. But I won’t experience having a “Mommy’s boy” while he is young, being his biggest fan at a baseball game, taking him on “dates” to teach him how to treat a girl, taking him to shop for a tuxedo for prom, or dancing with him at his wedding. Would I love to experience those things? Absolutely! However, I believe with every ounce of my being that my experiences while being a mom to my three girls will be just as fulfilling as I had always hoped they would be. God called me to be a girl mom. I am honored that God called me to raise my girls. And I know you are honored to raise those precious boys.
I think women who say the hurtful statements get caught up in the ideas of what they might experience with having a girl because, obviously, they are girls. That is what they know. However, if they really thought about what amazing experiences they would miss out on if they didn’t have a son, they would probably re-think their statements to a mom who has only boys.
I love this. There is so much truth and honesty in this post! I have a 15 month old son and am 16 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. Thank you for sharing!