no expectations

I think there are three different groups of pregnant women:  1. Those who love pregnancy and feel better than they have in their entire lives, 2. Those who are counting down the days for it to be over because of swelling, nausea, bed rest, preeclampsia, or any other ailment, and 3. Those who see pregnancy as a means to an end. You love some things and there are some things you don’t love.

I fell into that third category with both pregnancies. I spent the first trimester (and some of the second) getting sick all day every day. When I was working, this was extremely challenging, and often awkward. But around 19 or 20 weeks, I bounced back! I had more energy than ever and I actually felt great!

The countdown, for me, started at the beginning of the third trimester. Something about the day that baby bump pops and seems to double in size overnight makes you realize, “Oh my word! That’s a little person!” My bump got really big really quickly.

Those doctor appointments in the last weeks were challenging. My bump got in the way every week when I went to the restroom to give a urine sample. Seriously, how awkward is that? I’d dread the moment when I had to get on the scale every week. I removed my shoes, of course, but how much did my shoes actually weigh? Three ounces? That’s nothing in the grand scheme of 45-pound weight gain.

I would waddle around and strangers would stop me to talk to me, for no reason other than to congratulate me or ask me when I was due. Men and women would hold the door open for me when I was entering buildings. There is just something about a pregnant woman. And it’s good that they do this. It made me feel pretty. It made me realize just how special this time was. And people just love a baby.

You know how I’m an introvert and hate small talk? When you’re pregnant, small talk is easy! You have a guaranteed topic. People want to ask questions and you can answer. Now, of course there are the people who ask the completely inappropriate questions that make your face turn bright red and you have to sit there and wonder how long you can pretend that you didn’t hear the question.

But the attention does make you feel pretty, and that is wonderful because, for me, that wasn’t at all what I was feeling when I looked in the mirror. I was swollen. My cheeks had swallowed my face. I didn’t have ankles anymore and I saw the size of my hips and wondered if they would ever return to normal.

But in that final night before we brought Hudson home, I realized that none of this was about me. This was all for Hudson. He was going to come home and he is ours! We get to love him and raise him and teach him. So before when I was freaking out about weight gain and heartburn, then I started to get extremely emotional. A baby. Our baby!

I started imagining the first time we’d meet him and what that would feel like. Would it be instant, all-consuming, make-your-heart-ache love? Of course it would! Of course, before he was born the only books I read were baby-name books and pregnancy books. I didn’t read a thing about what to actually do with a baby when he came home.

So then I really started to worry the night before. Because, I mean, one day I’m not a mom yet and then in an instant I am? I’m just all of a sudden someone’s mom? I realized in that night, as I lay awake thinking about the day ahead of us, that I would remember every single detail about the next couple of days for the rest of my life. I knew that the next day I was going to meet the person that would change my life forever. So, no matter what the previous nine months were for me, none of that mattered anymore. It was all about Hudson.

Check out the Huggies Mommy Answers Facebook app!

Find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Share

Comments

  1. I definitely fall between 2 and 3. I thought I’d be 1, so this has been a little bit of an adjustment. I’m so ready to meet our little girl, and so tired of the backaches and extra weight and uncomfortableness, but I do love feeling her in my belly and knowing that right now I am the only one that can take care of her.

  2. I was definitely in the third category of pregnancy. I didn’t love every minute of it, but I loved some of it. And now, looking back, there is kind of a rosy glow around the whole experience. I guess that’s Mother Nature’s way of encouraging more babies.

  3. I was a one pretty much with all 3 of my pregnancies…although with the twin pregnancy I kinda ended up at a two because of nauseau, bedrest and trips to hospital….but all in all I loved having the belly and feeling the baby(ies) inside kicking and moving…I even liked maternity clothes and the random conversation with strangers…it definitely gave me a confidence booster in social situations :) It is such a surreal experience to go through, knowing there is life inside of you that you are taking care of…truly amazing!!

  4. Katie H says:

    I was part of category one… we’re not ready to expand our family yet but that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about a huge bump :-)

  5. Allyce says:

    I can so relate to this post. I was definitely a 3 and totally thought I would be a 1. I also thought when the baby came I would just fall right into step and be a perfect mom and all mushy, gushy all the time. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my baby but it has definitely been more of an adjustment than I expected.

    It’s funny how this parenting thing doesn’t always go as we expect! ;)

  6. Did you write this for me Erin?!?! Love you friend…and though we may be similiar in our feelings about pregnancy, you were that glowing, beautiful momma that I am not!

    Love your honesty and your sweet little family!!

  7. I love it. We are expecting our first (shh! It’s a secret still! ;) and the last 13 weeks have felt… exhausting, to say the least. I’m tired; my face is broken out; I’m starting to get a pouch (not a belly — just a pouch — which I don’t think I like yet); and all food disgusts me.

    But I know I’ll start to feel better and that there is a HUGE awesome surprise for me at the end of this time! :)

  8. Ye

  9. Yes I fell in that third category too, not gaining much until the end and then came the unpleasant back pain, gas, frequent urination, you know it all girl lol! Haha and yes what IS it about having to try to squat and give a sample with your bump in the way! Embarrassing. No matter how hard I tried I could never wait from my house to appts so then when at the Dr office I could never give much of a sample!

  10. I was the third category, too and love your story. Hoping to be pregnant again soon and can’t wait to go through it again — wondering if maybe I’ll switch categories? Keep writing!

    http://www.greatproofreading.com
    Cheap blog editing and proofreading – for when your blog has too many readers to pretend it doesn’t matter because no one’s going to see it.

Leave a Comment

*

CommentLuv badge