Last week, I was feeling anxious and frankly just a little bit blue. I wasn’t totally sure why. There was a small feeling of boredom, yet I was busy. But when the boys would nap I would feel overwhelmingly anxious and restless.

I wasn’t sure if it was a sign that I wanted to go back to work. When I stopped and really thought about it, I realized that I’m not ready to go back to work. And where would I go if I did?

But I realized that I was feeling down about the way our days were going. Butting heads. Stressing about Hayes’s speech and spending lots of time working with him. Getting screamed at by a toddler and an hour later watching him sleep and crying silent tears because I just love him so much.

I frequently hear this Steven Curtis Chapman song when we’re heading to school in the mornings and it always speaks to me. Mainly the first verse. It reminds me of my life.

My life isn’t glamorous, but I happen to love it. Even when I don’t always appreciate it, I do love it. I look like a wreck most of the time, but I don’t really care. There are times when I think, “is this significant?” I’m spending my day correcting and disciplining and cleaning and cleaning again and taking deep breaths and counting to 10. And then I’m also cuddling and reading and rocking and feeding and tickling and chasing and laughing and bathing and wrestling and giggling.

There’s just one thing I have to remember to maintain focus and perspective.

I’m doing all of this for His glory. It’s not about me. None of it is. Sometimes that just plain sucks. But it’s for God’s glory and it’s for my kids. And if I can keep that in my heart and mind every single day (maybe not every second of every day), I can refocus and regroup.

I need to see myself the way He sees me. And I need to see my kids the way He sees them. I have an amazing opportunity to do great things and make an impact on their little lives. It’s a big responsibility and sometimes it just overwhelms me, but I can only do the best that I can do.

So moms, listen to the song and take a look at the lyrics that really touched my heart this week.

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today
Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away

You put a baby on your hip
Color on your lips and head out the door

While I may not know you,
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you,
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

(from Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Do Everything”)

After a rather sad post earlier this week, I wanted to end the week with some happy stuff. My week turned a corner on Wednesday thanks to lots of laughs with my family and good conversations with friends. And I did have a great night out with my friend, Anna. It’s so nice to have friends in the same stage of life as you.

But here’s some stuff I’m loving this week!

1. There a new bakery in town (technically it’s in Forest Acres) called Ally & Eloise. I had heard great things from my friend Crist, so I stopped in yesterday to visit the bakery, meet Ally, and ask her about doing some goodies for Hayes’s birthday party. I ended up picking up a few little sweets to bring home. Ally makes the best cream cheese frosting I have ever tasted. And I had a delicious “chocolatti” cookie. I could have eaten 20 of them.

By the way, Eloise is Ally’s adorable French Bulldog. So cute!

2. I received this color block tank from Piperlime yesterday and I am so excited about it! I love the colors and can’t wait to wear it with white jeans.

3. We’re still loving our Keurig. One of my favorite times during the day is just when I’m able to read and sip a cup of Starbucks Breakfast Blend. I like my coffee really strong and this blend is absolute perfection. In the morning, I usually have to drink my coffee on the go when I’m taking Hudson to school. Bu I like to sneak in a second cup in the afternoon.

4. Hudson doesn’t have school on Fridays and we typically try to keep an open calendar on Fridays. He’ll have school 5 days per week in the fall, but I love our Friday pajama parties. The boys play and watch Sesame Street or Baby Einstein. It’s just nice to have at least one day where none of us are rushing around to get somewhere. We’ve stopped going to The Little Gym because it was just too much to have something extra on Fridays. But I love our Friday mornings of bed head and pajamas.

(And Hudson did color on his face with dry erase marker.)

5. Our doc band clinic is opening up a new satellite office very close to us! I am so excited that Hayes can still receive the best care but we won’t have to make the long(ish) drive to Charlotte every time. We’ll still go to Charlotte for scans, but our same therapist will be coming down here for his regular check ups. I guess there are a lot of patients in our area! I’m very excited about this!

6. Is there anything that says “summer” quite like a Drumstick? Yum. The best part is obviously the very tip of the cone that has all the chocolate in it. Love!

7. I received some gorgeous “thank you” flowers from my friend Lulu this week and I just love them! They have brightened up our family room so much and I love being reminded of her friendship every time I look at them.

8. Finally, have y’all checked out Bridier Baubles? I absolutely love all of their stuff. You can’t beat the price for such stylish jewelry. I have my eye on about 15 different things. Aren’t these cluster earrings just so great? Be sure to “like” Bridier Baubles on Facebook.

And speaking of Facebook, Blue-Eyed Bride is finally on Facebook. I know, I resisted it for long enough. But I would love it if you all would “like” Blue-Eyed Bride on Facebook!

I’ve felt really anxious the last couple of days. I can’t put my finger on the reason and while not totally foreign, I don’t feel this way very often. It’s unsettling and distracting.

When I stopped to think about why I felt this restless anxiety, I wasn’t really able to come up with anything. My mind is not flooded with thoughts at all. I don’t feel overwhelmed. In fact, I feel a little bit bored.

I hate using the word “bored” because I feel like the word “ungrateful” is associated with it. And that’s not really it at all. I have plenty to do. I have plenty of things to cross off my list. I have projects that I am working on that are exciting to me. It may be that I have just had some bad days at “work.”

Hudson and I spent the majority of the day yesterday butting heads. Yes, right after I praised him for communicating so well and being agreeable. He spent more time in time out yesterday than he spent out of it. He colored on the walls. He said “shut up” at school. He screamed every time I fed Hayes. There was just a lot of noise.

I called my girl friend and scheduled a girls night for this week just so I could have a couple of hours out of the house with a friend. And a glass of wine.

Taking a blogging break was my plan, but when I realized how much I was missing by not blogging, I realized I needed to just write. I don’t have anything overly exciting to write about right now, but blogging is such a great release for me. No matter what I write about, I feel better after I’ve written.

I know that in a couple of days I won’t feel so anxious and we’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming.

In the mean time, I’m distracting myself with episodes of Parenthood on Netflix. Every single episode puts a big lump in my throat, but I just love it.

p.s. I joked with my mom this morning that I had the blues because I’m missing Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Wink wink.

p.p.s. My dear friend, Crist, just pointed out the very obvious to me that a good bit of prayer time would do me some good. And she is so right.

I didn’t really intend to take a little blog break, but I’ve been busy.

When I wasn’t holed up in the corner of our sectional finishing the Fifty Shades trilogy (don’t judge a book by its cover or by what the media says– and read this review and this review and this review since I agree with these gals), I was throwing a baby shower for a sweet friend.

I stayed up until 3:00 a.m. on Saturday morning (Friday night?) to finish book 2 and then read all of book 3 on Sunday.

But we had a really fun brunch shower for my friend Tina and her baby girl. My friend, Allyson, made some really yummy baked shrimp and grits that I can’t wait to make here for us. So yummy!

The fabulous girls from Sweet Birdie’s Nest helped us pull together some of the adorable details.  Tina is going to be such a precious mom. She got some great gifts and has the sweetest family and friends. It’s always so much fun to get everyone together.

I never posted pictures from my friend, Caroline’s baby shower. The girls from Sweet Birdie’s Nest helped us with this one, too. We used the colors from Caroline’s nursery and this is such a fun color combination.

Todd and I also had fun working the volunteer table at our church’s Funday Sunday event. Despite a chilly, rainy, Spring day, there was a great turnout. And of course, I don’t have a picture.

I need to finish up a couple of little projects for Hayes’s party and then I think we’re ready. This is my project for the week. I need to make a little bunting for his cake. I may do something simpler than this and just do some felt pennants. And I don’t need the little yellow bows.

I found this on Pinterest, but can’t find the original source

We’re hanging in there. Both boys are well this week, knock on wood. My schedule is remarkably clear this week and Todd is really busy with work. Fortunately, our busy weeks don’t always collide.

Hudson is almost three years old. How is that possible? I was looking at him tonight and I just realized how much he’s grown this year. No more baby fat. He’s all little big boy now. He still talks like a little boy, but he is no longer a toddler. He’s tall. He’s solid. And he’s independent. And this makes me a little sad. He has his majorly defiant moments, but then in an instant he is agreeable and easy to get along with. He’s easy to communicate with. I know that age 3 won’t be a cake walk, but I love these little hints of who he’s going to be. Love him!