the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard

In the fall of 2008, I can remember sitting at my desk at work and just feeling “off.” I’ve blogged about this “off” feeling before. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach, tired and I was just starving. And I just knew what the only explanation could be.

I left work early that day and walked across the street to the drug store. I snuck back to the right section of the store, and saw that there was a huge selection of home pregnancy tests. I’d never taken a pregnancy test before.

Do you buy the kind that says “pregnant” or “not pregnant” or do you buy the one that shows you a plus sign or minus sign? Or what about the one with two lines? Isn’t this supposed to be a relatively easy, fool-proof process?

I was straight up terrified. I didn’t want to be spotted buying a pregnancy test. I felt like I was still a young girl and I wasn’t supposed to be pregnant yet. But I was a married woman of about five months. We weren’t “ready” for a baby yet. If I avoided taking the test could I stay in denial that things were changing?

(those two care-free newlyweds were about six weeks pregnant didn’t know it)

I picked up three different types of tests and picked up two boxes of each one. Just in case. In case of what? I don’t know, but I’d never taken a test before, so I didn’t want to mess it up.

I went home and decided to go with the “pregnant/not pregnant” test first. I took the test and sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the results. And about twenty seconds later the word “pregnant” showed up on the screen.

My heart started racing and I went through a whole bunch of emotions before calling Todd and asking him to come home from work. The next day I called the doctor to schedule an appointment. They determined that I was probably about seven weeks pregnant and they wanted to see me around 9 weeks.

So I had a couple weeks to just wait and sit with this information. I started taking a prenatal vitamin, started being more mindful of what I was eating and drinking. I cut out the caffeine and read all about what my dietary limitations were.

About a week before my doctor’s appointment, Todd was out of town on business. I went to the restroom and noticed that I was bleeding. A lot. I started to panic and really had no idea what to do. I stayed in the bathroom for a long time waiting to see if it would stop, and it never stopped. So I called the on-call doctor. Through tears, I explained to her what was happening, and she told me to just lie down and come in the next morning.

Todd drove through the night to get home to take me to this appointment that would end up being my first appointment. I told Todd to prepare himself for bad news. I’d been heavily bleeding for twelve hours and I just couldn’t imagine that things could possibly be okay with our baby. We were solemn when we went back to see the ultrasound technician. We told her what had happened, and she told us she’d just take a quick look before we met with the doctor.

And, there, on that huge screen, right next to my face, I could see a little flashing dot…

I immediately knew it was a heart, and there was no doubt that the heart was beating. She turned on the sound and the sound of our baby Hudson’s 8 week old heart filled the room.

And I just lost it and sobbed right there. I believe my exact words were, “I’m stunned! I’m so happy!”

I had given up all hope in those 12 hours that our baby would be okay, and there was his strong, healthy heart just a-beating and his tiny little gummy bear- shaped body, wiggling around on that screen. And in my belly.

What an incredible moment. The moment we first saw our first born and got to see his little heart beating. And hear the sound of life just echoing in the room.

Because of my little scare, I was able to have frequent sonograms and they checked on my little “bleed” spot at every appointment. I was fine and my sweet baby was fine.

Do you remember how you felt when you saw your positive pregnancy test? And how did you feel at your very first doctor’s appointment?

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  1. I was pretty stunned at my first pregnancy test. We weren’t actively trying so it was pretty shocking to see those 2 red lines! But, we were overjoyed at the same time. My first doctor’s appointment was amazing. We got an ultrasound and saw that little heart beating and it was an overwhelming feeling. Still makes me tear up thinking about it!
    Stef recently posted..See ya, August.My Profile

  2. You 100% made me cry. I remember all of those emotions so well. My son will be one next week so I’m a little emotional all over the place. Thanks for the memories and sharing your sweet story!

  3. We had been trying for 3 months and I was still shocked when I saw the positive pregnancy test! I remember shaking, being so happy, and dying over the 2 hour wait until my husband got home and I could tell him (I took the test when I got home from work the day my period was due. I usually got it in the morning, and I was suspicious when there was still no sign of it by later afternoon.)

    My first appointment was around 7 weeks and I remember just feeling so relieved that everything was OK and that we had a viable pregnancy. I got quite a few ultrasounds in the beginning. Nothing was wrong, but there was one right in the office, and I saw a few different Drs. and they all wanted to take a look. I loved seeing my baby each time and knowing everything was going well!
    Melissa recently posted..Tips For Throwing A First Birthday Party!My Profile

  4. Misty K says:

    That is a beautiful sound. And along with kicks the 2 most comforting
    Pregnancy signs.

  5. I just sobbed my eyes out. I wouldn’t have been able to hold it in if that was me either. So glad everything turned out OK for you!

    I remember when I took “the test” and I was at work. I about freaked out in the bathroom. I text my sister because I didn’t know what to do. She told me to take another test asap. So I did. Still pregnant. I went through every emotion available until it was time to go home. When I told my husband he didn’t believe me. Ha! He was super shocked. We’d been trying for a year. Can’t imagine life without out little guy! Hoping to do it again real soon.
    Mary-My Life in Scotland recently posted..Recipe:: Stuffed PeppersMy Profile

  6. Diane says:

    There is no sweeter sound! Seeing that little gummy bear dance around on the screen is awe inspiring. How people cannot believe in God after seeing that, hearing the heart beat, is beyond me. It is such a miracle! I became so worried just now reading that you had bled so badly, but felt so joyous knowing this was Hudson and he is a perfectly happy and healthy little boy. Have a great holiday weekend!!

  7. We now have 4 children and when we got the last positive test I said THANK YOU JESUS! We had two children, a miscarriage, another child, miscarriage and had been trying for over 3 years to have another baby. It was a true miracle and we were SO HAPPY! I love thinking about that day!

  8. Holy Cow…crying my little eyes out right now. I’m 10 weeks pregnant and for no reason, I’ve been WAY more scared of miscarriage this time around than I was with our older two kids. Thanks for sharing your story. The picture of you and your hubby is just darling.
    Angela recently posted..Grandma Dottie’s RingMy Profile

  9. CampDallas says:

    I have sweet chills and tears! After 16 months and 1 round of a fertility treatment, I will never forget the morning I took the test. After debating whether to take the test (I had originally not planned to test until the following day, out of fear it would be too early to detect and crush me with a false negative), I finally decided to go for it. My husband was still sleeping I waited in the bathroom for the full 3 minutes, with a towel covering the test. I finally pulled the towel off and couldn’t believe my eyes when it said PREGNANT! I burst through the door, screaming my husband’s name and saying I was pregnant. After his initial confusion (after all, he’d be sleeping!), we cried tears of joy and I gave him a high-five and said, “YEAH, TEAM!” :-) We’d finally done it!

  10. Wow! What an incredibly moving story! :)

    I, on the other hand, was a pro at taking pregnancy tests. I don’t know why, but I always always always thought I was pregnant. We weren’t trying, and I was on the pill, but I kept thinking “OMG I’m going to be one of those people who gets pregnant while trying not to.” Well when I was feeling off and was a few days late (not that unusual for me), I took a test and thought, just like other tests, this would be negative.

    But it wasn’t. And I was shocked. And terrified. And excited at the same time.

    When we went to the doctor and heard the little thump of the heartbeat, we were in love! :)
    Rachel {at} It’s a Hero recently posted..oh baby! 34 weeks!My Profile

  11. LeighAnn says:

    Although it has been thirtty (!) years since I found out I was pregnant the first time this post brought back all of those special memories and tears. Loved this, Erin. Have a wonderful weekend with your sweet boys.

  12. I lost my first pregnancy around 13 weeks and we tried for close to 2 years to get pregnant again. It was August of 2003 and one weekend my husband just looked at me and said I think you’re pregnant. I told him there was no way and to prove it we drove to the pharmacy and bought a test. Imagine my surprise when it was positive! After my history I was in the office that week and we saw our daughter on the ultrasound screen – it was hands down the best moment of my life! I felt that way with each of our next 3 babies too.
    Jody recently posted..Zoo Pals…My Profile

  13. First of all this made me cry. How terrifying those 12 hrs must have been.

    I was fully expecting it yet I was still shocked. We had been married five and a half years and had been trying for over a year. I can say that I totally understand that off feeling. I took five tests. My husband was at a real estate appt. and I kept calling his phone over and over. All good sense flew out the window. When I called my doc the girl asked if I was sure. When I told her I had taken five tests she laughed and said, “I think congratulations are in order.”
    The Life and Times of Me recently posted..To be or not to be . . .My Profile

  14. I felt excited, thrilled beyond belief, ready. I remember the ultrasound when we found out we were having a girl. We could hear the heartbeat loudly and my husband was suddenly up out of his chair, walking to the monitor, toward the little beating heart.
    Brandy recently posted..A Little Nostalgia and Crocodiles at BedtimeMy Profile

  15. anonymous says:

    oh gosh erin, this brought tears to my eyes. thanks for sharing that beautiful memory.

  16. Love this post – it made me tear up. Such a sweet memory. And hands down, that sound is one of the sweetest in the world. The only one that tops it is my son’s laugh. I could listen to it all day, every day!
    Jillian recently posted..Monday RamblingsMy Profile

  17. Great post! I had a bleeding scare with Cecelia and this story brings back a LOT of memories. These fighter babies are just amazing.
    Julia recently posted..Cecelia at Three MonthsMy Profile

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