not your mama’s pregnancy

My mom and I are really close, and we talked all throughout my pregnancy. We’d discuss symptoms and crazy cravings. I’d call her and tell her things about what my body was doing that I’d never consider telling another person because it was just too crazy! And she got it.

She’d listen and comfort and make me realize that I’m not the first or the last person to be pregnant, so I should just chill out. It was funny, though, because sometimes when I’d tell her about a doctor’s appointment, she’d tell me that she had no clue what I was talking about.

Things have changed so much in the time since she was pregnant with my brother or me. There are so many more dietary restrictions and things to avoid. And when the baby came? Wow. We just had to educate each other.

I’d fill her in on all the new stuff and she’d tell me that was a silly idea. And then she’d get on her iPhone and start coming up with random advice from random bloggers about what to do when your baby won’t sleep through the night.

Throughout my pregnancy, I heard some of these things.

“Back when I was pregnant….”

“We didn’t worry about deli meat.”- There was no listeria concerns. Why is it that all we want is a cold turkey sandwich? I’ll admit, I had my share of sandwiches.

“We didn’t get to find out the sex of the baby.”- I still think this would be a lot of fun to not even have the option to find out. Maybe if we have a third baby, I’ll try to avoid finding out just for one great surprise on delivery day!

“I drank two cups of coffee a day and ate all the chocolate I wanted.”- I guess the restrictions on caffeine have changed a lot, too! I still had my cup of coffee each morning and the occasional Diet Coke, since it was the only thing that settled my stomach.

“Back when my babies were newborns…”

“We didn’t swaddle. You slept on your tummy.”- When my mom found out that swaddling can help calm a crying baby and help babies sleep, she was fascinated. My mom became the swaddle master.

“We didn’t use schedules. We just fed you when you cried.”- This is another one that we didn’t stick to, and both boys ended up on a decent 2-3 hour schedule, but we also just had to feed them when they cried. I can remember one day that Hudson was so upset, and my mom was just Googling all kinds of parenting books to help us figure out a good option for Hudson.

“We didn’t have big swings or a pack n play.”- She definitely didn’t have her house overrun with baby gear everywhere. Swings, play gyms, pack ‘n plays, bouncers. There’s stuff everywhere! “We didn’t have bottle warmers” - That bottle warmer really wasn’t all that useful anyway.

Some of the changes are so interesting. Some are obviously more serious than others. But it’s fun to think that with or without all the baby gear, and add in a cup of coffee or two or three, we’re all just raising our babies and learning as we go.

And I can’t think of anyone more excited for the arrival of a sweet new bundle than a grandmother.

What are some of the things your mom or veteran mom friends said to you about the new pregnancy rules and new “trends” for babies?

Check out the Huggies Mommy Answers Facebook app and find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.

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  1. When I get negative comments (not saying your mothers were negative) about “Oh, WE never worried about that, or we did this and turned out fine, we all survived” etc I just respond with “You could smoke in your hospital rooms too. Just because you could then, doesn’t make it right now”
    Lacey recently posted..Fluffy Friday week 9My Profile

  2. Caroline says:

    “And when the baby came? Wow. We just had to educate each other.” That is such an accurate description of my experience with my own mother! I have no doubt that she has bitten her tongue more times than she count over the past 2 years of my daughter’s life…but she definitely has imparted her fair share of wisdom and opinion :)

  3. Some of the difference were your choices. We didn’t find out the sex and my daughter feeds and sleeps on demand. A schedule may have worked for you, but on demand works best for us. The biggest difference between my pregnancy and my mother’s is the amount of information I have available to me.
    Jennifer recently posted..Two monthsMy Profile

  4. carseats! my entire extended family still doesn’t get “rear facing.” our son doesn’t do well in the car and i can’t count the number of times my mom, aunts, mil, etc have repeatedly told me to turn him around (he is still under a year so we have awhile), which is usually followed with “we didn’t have to flip carseats backwards and everyone was fine.” to which i’m usually thinking “yes, and how many serious car accidents were you in? none? well yes, i’m sure everything was fine then.” :)

  5. This is such a fun post! I am already filling my mom in on all the new-fangled baby knowledge. I remember when my girlfriends starting having kids and trying to explain to my mom the concept of “pump and dump” and she absolutely refused to believe me that people did that. I even told her they sell those little strips now, so you can test for alcohol, she was not having it, it was so funny!

  6. Shelley says:

    I’m four months pregnant now and am having these same conversations with my mother in law and her friends. Just a few nights ago we were at a ladies house for dinner and she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t eat the parma ham or have a glass of wine (her children are near 40). She then said when she was pregnant she had a glass of wine with lunch AND dinner. I was speechless. LOL I think it would be easier with my own mom rather than with my mother in law but maybe not. ;) I’m pressured quite often to have alcohol by the older generation because ‘it was fine for them’ and its really, really hard (especially since I really want one). Ah well, I guess its a good way to be prepared for all the child rearing advice that comes later on. ;) But it is a lot of fun to have some of the conversations about what works for some and what others have learned. Everyone gets excited over a new baby!

  7. CampDallas says:

    As I was planning for breastfeeding and kept referencing the books I was reading, my mom finally said at one point, “I didn’t know all that and you girls nursed just fine!” For the record, it’s a darn good thing I studied those books, because my kid put me through the ringer with it! And in the end, it wasn’t the books, but the lactation consultant support and supportive husband (and dear mother!) that helped me be successful.

    I love that although things are quite different in terms of what information is available to us know, my mom was still my best resource and support as a new mom. Thank GOD for moms!

  8. I always try and remind mothers-to-be and new moms when they are freaking out about caring for a baby. With things always changing, sometimes it’s just best to rely on your own instincts anyway!
    Kim recently posted..Another MondayMy Profile

  9. Oh thats so sweet. I just got all teary reading that.. yup, I’m definitely pregnant! lol!
    AussieMumma recently posted..Oh Dear.. my Baby is a Toddler!My Profile

  10. During my 2nd pregnancy, I had a horrible fall and landed flat on my stomach at the 25 week mark. I had horrible cramping and was very concerned and was told by my doctor to go to the ER to get monitored. When I told my mom about the incident, she said “when I was pregnant with you kids I fell ALL the time and never worried…” LOL, ahh…moms. :)
    Suzi recently posted..Life so far as a SAHM of 2 little onesMy Profile

  11. I love this post – my mom’s two pregnancies (in communist russia) were SO different from mine. She still doesn’t understand the whole “don’t drink don’t eat things.” Although she did refrain from drinking when she was pregnant with us, she indulged in occasional glass of wine and never thought twice about it meanwhile I over analyze EVERYTHING.
    I definitely craved and had lunch meat when i was pregnant with P but I nuked it in the microwave for about 30 seconds just to be on the safe side.
    kat recently posted..Toddle Along Tuesday – Things I actually sayMy Profile

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