life: interrupted

So I took the weekend to pray and think. My family is in an interesting season right now. We’re doing great, we’re managing. We’re barely even freaking out about not having a home to move into when we close on our house.

Okay, correction. No one is freaking out except for me. And I’m doing my best not to freak everyone else out by my freak outs.

In addition to the move, I have some other commitments that I need to get through before Christmas.

And there’s my blog. My hobby-turned-small business that I love to nurture. And with it comes a beautiful community of women. And at the heart of that blog is my family, and the stories about my family.

I love to share our stories. But the season we’re in right now is new. God has put it on my heart in a major, tugging, aching way to change the way I tell our story.

Hudson is a spirited, lively, hilarious, normal three-year-old boy who is growing up more every day. He has always been one of God’s little masterpieces, but that little personality of his is more and more evident. And I’m realizing (like a big slap in the face) that just because I’m his mother, doesn’t mean that his story is mine to tell.

I can tell my story of motherhood to all of you, but not Hudson’s. Not Hayes’s. I’ve always done my very best not to write much about Todd unless he says it’s okay, but I’ve not given that same consideration to my kiddos.

And I realize that this is completely a personal decision for each blogger. But right now, as we move from toddlerhood into preschool-hood (is that a word?), I’m going to change the way I tell the story in an effort to protect my babies.

This is scary for me because I love to write and I’ve gotten so comfortable with the way I’ve been doing it for so long.

My friends and I are doing Priscilla Shirer’s study of Jonah right now and it’s all about navigating an interrupted life. These are the things that come up that rock the boat a little bit- or a lot.

The other night my friends and I got together to watch last week’s lesson, and I heard Priscilla Shirer say this…

“Oftentimes the greatest hindrance of a new move of God in your life is the last move of God.”

Yikes, right?

I’ve been there. I’m there now! I want to say, “But I can’t change what I’m doing and do something new because I’m already committed to doing this right now. And it’s a good thing!”

But maybe this good thing isn’t the right thing for right now. I’m confident that I’m hearing Him correctly, and I’m just praying that He’ll guide me through.

Are you struggling with making a decision that makes you uncomfortable? Even though you know deep down it’s the right thing?

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  1. You know our family struggled this summer with a big ol’ scary decision, but we felt confident in what was being asked of us. I’m proud of your honesty and your desire to obey, whatever that looks like. Glad you let us in on it! xo
    Anne recently posted..Day 22: A Case of the MondaysMy Profile

    • I just love you, friend. I admire so much the faith that your family has shown this whole year. Following God’s call for your life in the big and small things can be scary, but so exciting. Especially when we know it’s the right thing. Love you!
      Blue-Eyed Bride recently posted..life: interruptedMy Profile

  2. I love this post. I’m nowhere near the type of blogger that you are, but I struggle with this same idea. What am I blogging for, is it for me? What role should my kids take in this? I really actually appreciate this post more than you may know, as it’s something I’ve struggled with through my several years of blogging. I’m anxious to see where you take this and how you change what you’re used to. I took a break from blogging all summer (we moved, got new jobs, etc.), and I’ve slowly been coming back, but am really trying to be focused on not feeling uncomfortable with having it all out there, in regards to my babies.
    Erica recently posted..Shake it.My Profile

    • Hey Erica! It’s good to hear from you. I totally get it. Life circumstances change and our families go through changes. I think it’s important that what you choose to blog about IS comfortable to you. If you’re uncomfortable with how much or how little you’re sharing then it’s probably a good idea to figure out what does make you comfortable. I’m glad that other moms/bloggers wrestle with these same decision.
      Blue-Eyed Bride recently posted..life: interruptedMy Profile

  3. You go girl! I read Radical and 7 this year and I’m feeling uncomfortable about a LOT of things!
    Kate recently posted..An American Christian: Response to RadicalMy Profile

  4. Erin, you know I just love your heart and your willingness to open up and share so much in such an eloquent and thought provoking way.
    It looks like we are in for some huge changes in the next year or so and the other morning in the middle of making BK’s lunch I just sat in the pantry and had a good ol’ chat with God. It’s one of those things where I know exactly what I need to do but doing it makes me a little more uncomfortable so I step back and say “Are you sure, I mean really sure?” a million times.
    I just find myself praying through it all. Any time I’m overwhelmed I just pray through it and it gets me far.
    I want to look into that Bible study, it sounds wonderful!

  5. I love reading about your kiddos and seeing pictures of your family, but you have to do what’s best for you and yours. My five year old has recently started saying, “Mom, you don’t have to tell everybody everything about me.” It made me realize that as parents what we see as cute little stories about the good, the bad, and the ugly can be really embarrassing or private to our kids.

  6. I’m studying James right now ( a gut-wrencher for sure!). Today a verse jumped out at me from Chapter 4 in which James speaks of submitting to God and not being a friend to the world. Verse 6 of this chapter starts with one of the most profound statements I’ve found: “But He gives us more grace.” I love your blog and how you use it to share your sincere faith and struggles. I’m confident that He will give you more grace to accomplish all He has set out for you to do. Hope you have a blessed week and that the Lord reveals to you and your family the perfect home He has had planned for you for such a time as this since before you all were ever even a family! Much love!

  7. As always, a beautiful post. I just love blogs that show me how to be a better blogger. :)
    Leslie Lambert recently posted..Monday Thought DumpMy Profile

  8. This post really REALLY spoke to me, Erin. I put a lot out there on the good old internet about my kids and family…..often times i will share a picture of my girls on facebook before my husband sees it. That isnt right. I think sometimes we can use the internet for approval and I know I’m guilty of that. This is making me think about how I can protect my girls…would I want them to use the internet for approval like I do when they are teenagers? Absolutely not. I want them to look to God for approval…and I guess I better start teaching them by doing that myself. You have no idea how thankful I am to read this today. xoxo friend.

  9. Nicole says:

    What a great post. I struggled with this – different circumstance – two years ago. Well let’s be honest – I still struggle with it on a daily basis. God pressed on my heart my desire to return to school 2 yrs ago and I prayed about it and my husband I discussed it and I quit my long time job and security and returned to school full time. It left my husband the only one providing for our family and it was a huge change to our lifestyle, but I am confidant that we made the right decision for our family. We have three boys and some days are definitely a challenge for me, but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck in your decision and just know that God won’t sway you in the wrong direction. Praying for you!

  10. Thank you for sharing your heart and for be faithful to what God is telling you. You’re right….it is your SON’S story and not yours….This is something that I’m daily trying to figure out. I want to blog, I want to write, I want to document life but, how???? I’m still trying to find the balance of doing this in a way that protects my family, doesn’t share too much and isn’t something that I’ll ever regret. It’s hard to know what’s best!
    Angela recently posted..31 Days, Day 23: DifferentMy Profile

  11. It’s tough to make these kinds of decisions, especially when you’re used to blogging more candidly. I’ve had to make similar decisions! I’m praying you find somewhere to move by the time you close on your house! God WILL provide. :]
    annie recently posted..knowing YOU.My Profile

  12. We recently had to make a hard decision. To stay in Scotland or move back to the USA? After much prayer and tears we decided to stay in Scotland. It’s been over 3 yrs since I saw my family and I’m worried it will be even longer before I see them again. But, we know this is the right step for us. The right place. So we’re staying. Doesn’t make it any easier though. Even though I love it here…

  13. jcristg says:

    Erin, I’m really proud of you. I know you will do what’s best for your family – in every aspect of this new season. Praying for you. XO

  14. I love the story of Jonah. My son is named Jonah too, which means “dove” and “peace.” Which seems ironic since the biblical Jonah’s life was not peaceful. There are just some seasons of life in which we cannot keep all the balls going and that is ok. It seems that is where your life is right now. I remember when my son was first born and I was grappling with caring for a newborn for the first time that I would get so angry at myself for not being able to keep everything else in my life going along just as it had before he came along. I finally had to just get to that place (even though others tried to tell me this too) where I let myself off the hook of worrying about it all. It was exhausting. And it’s important to not make excuses about your choices, especially when you’ve prayed about it and you know it’s the right choice. No one has to know your reasons except your family and God. Hope that helps.

  15. Erin, I am in this boat now. And it’s a rockin’ :)

    I now have a 4-year-old and I sometimes feel strange writing about him. For instance, I wrote a whole post about his tantrums. It was pretty harsh at first. But then I went back and changed it because I didn’t want him to read it someday and think that I was angry with him or didn’t love him with all my heart.

    I am confused about what to write anymore. It was so much easier when they were babies. I wrote about breastfeeding and lack of sleep and each growth stage. But now they are little people and they have a right to privacy too!

    I never usually write about my extended family or my sisters because they are uncomfortable with it. I rarely write about my husband because this isn’t his blog. It’s mine. It’s my story to tell but I proceed with caution these days.

    Thank you for this post!
    molly recently posted..They really do love each otherMy Profile

  16. This is a great post and something I’ve thought about lately, too. I documented Hailey’s first year pretty closely, but probably won’t share intimate details as she gets older. I agree that these tiny people have a right to privacy, too, and I never want to share anything that Hailey might be uncomfortable with when she is older. I still have no problem sharing openly about my journey, though, chapped nipples and all ;) HA

  17. anonymous says:

    erin,

    you wrote: “I’m confident that I’m hearing Him correctly”.

    that says it all to me. what a blessing (and a testament to your diligently seeking Him). being confident that i’m hearing Him is my biggest struggle right now. it’s a horrible feeling not to know which direction to go in.

    please know that we’ll be here. supporting you. rooting for you. praying for you. and reading whatever you feel is appropriate to share. as always, thank you for sharing your heart with us through this transition.

    xo

  18. Decisions are always hard when you are listening to God’s call… you have to really evaluate if it’s what YOU want or what HE is asking you to do, and they don’t always line up (and your way is usually the “easier” one). But when we obey, it is always satisfying! We went through a lot of change in the past year, planting a church in a city we had never lived in, but He continually blessed us, even when I was on the verge of a major freak-out. Sometimes I think He takes us there just to remind us to put all of our trust in Him. I think I’ll be checking back to see where He takes you next… chances are it’s going to be an incredible journey!
    Kim Mauney recently posted..A thousand words…My Profile

  19. I totally feel you, sister. I’m also struggling with whether to start writing more about my faith on my blog, and it’s been a long struggle for me! Trying to figure out whether to separate that from my writing for now, or if I should just go for it. I’m glad you feel like you are making the right decision, it’s hard to make that change!

  20. Erin, I loved this post! I know you follow your heart and what God places on it and that’s what most important. I also think without even knowing it, you encourage others to do the same, which is a such a gift.

    I try to listen and follow Him each day as well…that’s what I feel like my blog is all over the place! I go back and forth on telling “our” story, but I just keep seeing my kids grandkids reading my blog as a scrapbook like I did my grandmother’s scrapbooks.

    We all love your little family and no matter what you blog about, we will continue to enjoy your corner here on the internet! :)
    In This Wonderful Life recently posted..Hectic Holidays!My Profile

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