So I took that whole “no goals. just grace” thing pretty seriously, right? I gave myself a good old 14 days of grace and chose not to blog.
At first it was just because I didn’t really want to, and then after a few days, I just fell out of the habit and actually enjoyed not blogging. I didn’t read any blogs and didn’t have that nagging feeling in my gut that I just had to get to my computer and write something. And if I had allowed myself, I could have ignored it again today.
The truth? I have no idea how often I want to keep this up right now. But I appreciate all of you who read this blog so very much and I have loved having this blog as an outlet for so long that something keeps pulling me back.
Things with our family are going well. Todd and I are doing great and the boys are doing great. We’re playing a lot, reading a lot, cooking a lot and seeing a lot of movies. I watched all of Parenthood on Netflix and now I’m addicted to The West Wing.
We’re still trying to find our new balance and our new routine. The lack of consistent routine has a lot to do with the lack of blogging. But we’re keeping busy and we’re having a lot of fun. I like to do my writing by myself while my kids nap. But I’m rarely by myself and Hudson has completely dropped his nap. (And that hasn’t been a bad thing at all. He has done great!)
I guess I’m just saying that life is changing, as it should. And, as I was confused a few months ago, I’m confused again about how this little piece of the internet fits into our life.
I have heard a lot about people adopting a word for the year. I thought about mine, and what came to mind when I tried to think of one word.
A few months ago, during The Nester’s 31 Days series, my friend, Ellen, wrote a beautiful series called “Abide: 31 Days to Love Where You Live.” This was in the midst of our home-selling process, and her words really spoke to my heart.
Fast forward to today, and our family is still “displaced.” We are waiting. We are trying to wait patiently. We are praying. We are grumbling, though we try not to.
We have toured home after home after home. And our prayer each time we get ready to make an offer is, “God, if this home is not your will for us, please make it very clear. Please stop this process before we get too far.”
And so far, in the last few months, that has happened five times. Five times!
So we’re listening. And waiting. But each day, I am consumed with this overwhelming feeling of “needing” to get all of this sorted out. For us to find our home. Where we will abide together.
Webster’s Dictionary defines abide this way:
1. to wait for; 2. to endure without yielding, to bear patiently, 3. to remain fixed in a state, 4. to continue in a place, 5. to accept without objection
No objection? But we want a home of our own. We want our kids to have their own space.
To bear patiently? But I’ve been patient. We didn’t start this process yesterday.
But God is protecting us. He’s telling me to be quiet. To wait. To stop grumbling. To enjoy the ride. To endure it and accept it. And realize that His plan is so much greater than ours, if we could just sit tight and wait for it.
And I can do this. I will do this in 2013.
I know that our reward at the end of all of this will be well worth it all.
But I’m also choosing a different form of this word. I’m choosing to abide in the Lord, Jesus Christ this year. I’m choosing to hold and remain in Him and be held secure in that permanent relationship. I’m choosing to learn about him through this process. And thank Him for the blessings and praise Him for his glory.
Thank you for listening to my heart, and hearing me where we are right now. I’m excited about 2013!