For a while recently, I had reached this point in my time as a mother where I was in this quiet little place. Hayes was this sweet, content toddler. And when Hudson reached 3.5 years old, we turned a corner. There was peace and cooperation.
And then as Hayes’s speech therapy caught on, we added a little more noise to the home. Okay, a lot of noise.
But the noise is in the form of sweet, intentional words from Hayes that we prayed for and waited on for months. In fact, Hudson can’t help but do his cute little grin every time Hayes attempts to say a new word. He’s not making fun of him. He’s just so surprised and thinks it’s about as cute as I do. (Which is pretty stinking cute.)
His new favorite word is “Mommy.” Sweet, right?
Yes, it’s sweet. But there’s a little problem. “Mommy!” isn’t as sweet when it’s screamed in rapid succession. (Imagine Stewie Griffin in that ad they used to show on TBS all the time.)
I know deep in my heart that I will survive the toddler years again, but every time I hear Hayes start shouting “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” I doubt myself. Especially at 6:30 p.m. when we are counting down the seconds for Daddy to walk in the door.
I know that Hayes just wants my attention and that’s the way he thinks he needs to get it. But it hurts everyone’s ears and it makes my shoulders tense up. And when we put Hayes to bed at night, I realize that I can slowly relax my shoulders and bring them away from my ears.
I absolutely love that his favorite word is “Mommy.” And if his favorite word was “Daddy” and he screamed that all day, I know that we’d all be on edge just the same. Coming unglued bit by bit.
Thank goodness my husband is a “together” man. Because I do not have it all together.
But you know what? In a year, I will have to look back on this post to even remember that Hayes did that. And then I’ll laugh about it. And I will physically ache for my 21 month old baby boy who loves to laugh and run and try to jump and bounce while he shouts for his Mommy to look at him and so he can say, “Hewwooo, Mommy” or “peek-boo, Mommy!”
My sweet Hayes who falls asleep in the car on the way home from school and nuzzles his head into my shoulder as we walk into the house. And before I can lie him down in his crib, he’ll look at me and give me the sleepiest grin.
My sweet Hayes who used to be so content and never made a peep, is now showing us so many answers to prayers with his words and his voice and his crazy wild man activity.
It’s this place where I am so afraid to wish away the small things that bring headaches because time will take the sweet smells and funny giggles with it.