every day joy

This is one of those posts that I don’t know how to write. I was trying to tell a friend the other day that it feels weird to not write about certain things because it makes me feel like I’m leaving something out of our story. And that’s what this blog is.

But I also don’t want to use my words and my space to be negative.

So over the post few weeks (and months, really) I’ve pouted a good bit, prayed a lot, and done my very best to just see the Lord’s plan in all of this disorder.

For those of you that may not know the full story, we sold our house and closed on it at the end of 2012 after 9 months of it being on the market.

It was bittersweet. And we never imagined that it take us a few months to decide to build a house, and then take us a while to even get started on the process.

But since we left our home, I’ve been fighting and trying to overcome this dry feeling. I’ve just felt uninspired. And almost limited.

2013 is already flying by, but in many ways it can feel like we’re just living in limbo. We’re dangling in this place in the in-between where we’re tip toeing around and trying to get settled in Todd’s grandmother’s house. We’re trying to make ourselves at home while being respectful of her space.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. I thought, “This sweet little blessing was God’s plan for us, and this is that big sign of hope that all of this uncertainty will sort itself out soon.”

The pregnancy did give us the nudge that we needed to commit to building a house. But we were heartbroken just a few days later when I began to miscarry.

Today, at Bible study, someone spoke a very powerful piece of TRUTH into me when she said (not directly to me, but it felt that way),

“Stop waiting for Jesus to do something spectacular, and just focus on the joy that can be found in the every day and the ordinary.”

It may be 2014 before we find ourselves settled into a home. It may be 2014 before we decide that we’re ready to try for another baby.

The joy is happening all around me every single day.

And my hope is not to be found in anything of this world. It’s in Jesus Christ alone. And He fills me up with joy.  He has blessed us with a beautiful family and a warm, comfortable home that we share with family.

It’s a daily decision for me to choose to be joyful in the midst of the heart ache and displacement. It’s clear that I have been just waiting on something spectacular to happen to perk us up a bit. And it’s not likely that it will happen that way. My fulfillment and hope can only come from One place if I hope for it to sustain me.

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Share

Comments

  1. Oh E, I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, but what a powerful message to hear today. In so many ways I felt like our 2011-2012 was “in limbo” I felt like we continued to wait for “the next big item” to check off our list. It took a long conversation with a very good friend to shake me out of that feeling. She said I needed to stop waiting for life to happen & it finally will. I still sometimes feel in limbo, but I definitely try to remember that. I’m going to write down the message you heard today…it’s definitely powerful.

  2. Kelly H says:

    Thank you so very much Erin. I needed to hear this today!

  3. Sarah says:

    You’re so right. What a great message! I had to bite a major bullet this week and start setting up a nursery at my in-laws’ house. We, too, are between homes of our own, and you’d think my heart would just be swelling with gratitude to be in the cushy arrangements we’re in with another sweet baby on the way, but the reality that I’ll be sharing so much of the newborn stage with my husband’s family was really getting to me for some reason. Your post was such a kind reminder of what’s true and important, when I surely deserved a much harsher wake-up call! Thanks for the insight!

  4. I needed this today! you’re 100% right!

  5. mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy
    glad you got this out. xo
    jcristg recently posted..Pick Your Prize: Another Giveaway!My Profile

  6. Thank you, Erin, for this post. I have been feeling many of the same feelings… going through the same loss that you are… going through the motions of raising our two boys (same ages as yours). I needed this gentle reminder. There is so much wonder and joy around in the day to day. I need to spend more time enjoying the moment and less time hoping for the next step.

  7. Needed this today!!! Thanks for sharing!

  8. Sometimes learning to be content in situations that can seem unsettling, is right where we need to be in order to grasp onto the joy that Jesus has for us. Finding joy and contentment equals trust in the plan God has for you.
    Great word! I love your honesty.:)
    1 Timothy 6:6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain.
    Jennifer recently posted..Prayer… Are You Focused?My Profile

  9. E,
    Even us single 30-somethings feel this way! I’m going through much of the same thing right now. Buy a house? Move out of Cola? Where does the Lord want me? etc etc…It’s good to know that we aren’t alone.
    ~elizabeth

  10. I can totally identify with what you are going through. We relocated to Nashville from DC in 2012. The entire ten months we lived in a rental after our move felt like purgatory. We weren’t happy and didn’t feel like Tennessee was home. I can’t imagine having those feelings and coping with a miscarriage at the same time.

    I have been reading your blog since before Hudson was born and am not the commenting type. But your post and prayer really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing.
    Allison recently posted..Back off, he’s mine!My Profile

  11. I needed this today. I have been feeling blah, discontent, & down right bitter since God moved us from Charleston & back to Arkansas in just 10 short months. I mean, that wasn’t enough time in the Lowcountry for me! ;) But I know there’s a plan. And I know I’ll one day understand it all — even if that doesn’t come until I reach heaven. Until then, I must choose joy. Every day. In every little thing. Joy.

  12. This is a beautiful post and I can relate to to the way you’re feeling. We’ve had so many stresses and curve balls thrown at us the last few months and as a person who is normally extremely hopeful and optimistic, I’ve started having worries that I didn’t know existed. I know it’s just the enemy trying to destroy my joy and put my mind on things out of my control when what I really need to do is just focus on God, seek His direction and thank Him for the blessings He’s already given to us. Being in limbo is no fun at all, but just as you’re able to do during this time of uncertainty, I’m praying that I, too, will be able to show others God’s faithfulness.
    Anna recently posted..Striving for PerfectionMy Profile

  13. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings. I too have been struggling with finding joy where I’m at, but am slowly finding peace in the little things.
    Meaghan recently posted..CurrentlyMy Profile

  14. Becky says:

    Book recommendation: Mitten Strings for God. I think you’ll love it because it talks about simplifying your life and living for the little moments that happen every day.

    So sorry about your baby loss and feeling so unsettled. But, of course, “this too shall pass.”

  15. I needed this too!
    Jennifer recently posted..Weekend with Krystal PennMy Profile

  16. mollie says:

    Amen!!! So well put.

  17. WOW! This was just was I needed to read today. I posted something very similar on my own blog. Praying for your sweet family.
    kate recently posted..it got worse, then betterMy Profile

  18. Margot says:

    Erin, you are an inspiration! This is just what I needed to see today. Thank you for sharing on e blog, too. I don’t blog all that often because Of that same “I don’t want to talk about it because it’s not that happy but don’t really want to talk about anything else without addressing it” sort of feeling. It takes courage to be so honest with yourself and the whole wide world and maybe seeing this will give me a needed nudge to get back to writing again. Praying that God fills you with a peace and contentment that brings you joy you hadn’t imagined could be found in your current situation. Keep sharing your heart! Encouraged by you today.

  19. What a great post, Erin! I have been feeling exactly the same way in this season of life….a little trapped at home with a baby and a two year old, and looking forward to the days when it is easier to get out and about! Yesterday’s lecture and your words are the perfect reminder that I am wishing away this precious time with my girls! What a great reminder to enjoy the everyday blessings :) And I am so glad to be sharing Thursday mornings with you!

  20. I am in a similar state of limbo and I bounce between days of “I’m going to push through this and make the best of it” and days where I just want to sit in the chaos and bawl over it. It’s hard. It’s very hard, not knowing when/where you’re going to “land.” You just have to fight for the good attitudes. Fight the blues, as best as you can!!! That’s what I’m trying. I’m praying that the Lord keeps my mind and eyes open for the lessons, and you’re right, I need to see the joy, too. Thanks for this.
    Becky recently posted..Checkin’ in on all those goalsMy Profile

  21. Oh Erin, how I needed to hear those words. Thank you!!

    I pray that you’re able to find the joy in the “everyday” things AND also get a spectacular sign for a little “pick me up.” Not feeling settled IS hard. The good news is that you’re spending time with Todd’s grandmother & those moments are certainly priceless to her…and will be wonderful memories that Hudson & Hayes will carry in their hearts forever.

    Huge hugs to you my sweet, sweet friend!

  22. bisbee says:

    I don’t mean to be offensive, but perhaps your fulfillment and hope can come from your children and your husband. Make your own fulfillment – don’t wait for it to “happen”.

  23. Christina says:

    You need to chill out, living with your grandma for a few months isn’t even remotely the end of the world! “Displacement”? I know people here in NYC who still have nowhere to go after Hurricane Sandy. I’m sure you don’t even have to pay rent while you’re “displaced.” What a blessing!! You are right to try to focus on all the other beautiful things surrounding you…

  24. I agree with Christina. Living with a relative for a short period of time while your dream home is being built really isn’t anything to “pout” over. I used to really enjoy your blog, but you seem to grow more and more ungrateful by the minute.

    • I’m not trying to start a fight here…..but my mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say DONT say anything at all. This is Erin’s personal blog, and she is writing here and sharing HER story. She’s not here to relate to others, or make others feel better about themselves. If she does–great. But that’s not the point of a blog. The point of a personal blog is to share your OWN story, to document your OWN life, and to write what you want. Please respect that.
      Kendall recently posted..In a RutMy Profile

  25. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t know Erin personally, but I do NOT like these negative comments toward her.

    I’ve been displaced before and it’s not easy, even in the best of circumstances. What Erin shared, though, and which seems to have failed to reach your brains, is that she lost a baby. And in spite of that, she’s expressing her desire to find joy. Having been displaced, and having lost a baby, I can speak to the difficulty and the misery of each respective circumstance. And I know the courage it took her to write this post and to choose beauty over sadness. I applaud her courage and draw inspiration from it.

    On a final note, clearly your mothers never taught you one of the most important life lessons a person could learn: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If you don’t like what Erin has to say, move along and leave her alone. I hope you didn’t even stop to think what your words might do to her, because if you did and the pain you inflicted was intentional, then I really feel sorry for you guys. I can’t imagine wanting to throw hurtful words at a complete stranger.
    Becky recently posted..Checkin’ in on all those goalsMy Profile

  26. Erin–thank you. I needed to hear that too. I can relate in a small way. We have been renting since before Charlotte was born. We live in a 2 bedroom, 2 bath–very limited space. NICE–but small. I have been DYING to move, to buy a house and to live in a larger space. I spend so much time and energy focused on what we don’t have and why we can’t get there RIGHT NOW, that I realize I’m missing it all. Ellie is almost 7 months, and I’ve spend most of her baby life wishing our circumstances were different.

    This spoke to me….I am in tears because I need to recognize the joy around me. i talk so much about it on my blog, but I need to live it. I’ll be praying for you guys….I know how it feels to be in limbo. Much love xo

    (and oh my goodness delete that negativity above this comment….you have inspired me in more ways than you will ever know and should be APPRECIATED!)
    Kendall recently posted..In a RutMy Profile

  27. Erin,

    Thanks so much for this thought! I so needed to hear this…2012 was a rough year for our little family and 2013 has started out a little rocky but you are completely right. Jesus Christ is our hope and joy and peace and we need to find the joy in the ordinary!

    Thanks for the reminder! I always love reading your blog!

  28. I was so happy to read this-all too often I (we) let materialistic things dictate my happiness, and sadness for that matter, as well as what people think or say. I really wish I had the discipline to truly rely on trust and faith to get me through.

  29. So the morning after we had that talk about wanting to keep some stuff private, yet not act like everything is perfect all the time on the old blogs, I was having a long conversation with my best friend Abby who lives too far away by half. Anyway, we had awoken to the heartbreaking news that an old friend’s wife had died of cancer in the night. She was thirty, and left behind a six year old boy and three year old girl. We were talking about how we get caught up in the little things- her 2 year old has stopped sleeping at night, and I was stressed with work, etc. I become so myopic on that little things- it’s just human nature I think. Anyway, my resolution is to revel in all the good stuff, and shrug off the annoyances. (I’m giggling to myself thinking of a major annoyance for you right now). Anyway, love you sweet friend! Vent all you need.
    Samma recently posted..Beauty on a Budget (Part 1)My Profile

Leave a Comment

*

CommentLuv badge