When we left our house back in November, there was a piece of me that got left behind with it. I’m a nester. Making a home, feeling at home, is my thing.
I am passionate about home. Not a particular home, but having a home. The feeling of home.
We could dissect this all a little bit, and could probably take it all back to the fact that I moved around a fair amount as a kid, and now, as an adult I want stability and home. Roots.
In November, we left the place that I’d called home for more than five years. And the place where I first bathed my babies and swaddled them, and tucked them into their bed. It was the place where no matter how lightly you tip-toed in the middle of the night, the creaks in the old floor boards still told stories of the memories held in the house.
But someone else moved in, and we had the amazing gift of moving in with family. Believe me when I say that I do know how much of a gift that is.
And yet, for months, my heart wrestled with the lack of roots. And feeling like I’d fallen from my nest. And then we experienced a tragedy and, again, I wondered what was happening in this whole situation.
Once we made up our minds about where we would settle down, things did start getting easier. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But some big things happened to me this summer.
We had a relatively low key summer. But that was the beauty in it. There were vacations, and VBS, and swimming lessons and all the fun things that a summer holds.
But I had this amazing gift of enjoying my family. I have two beautiful, funny, relatively self-sufficient children who are fun to be with. And we had a whole lot of fun.
Everyone was old enough to participate in whatever we did. And I just enjoyed the fun. I napped with Hudson, and read just one more book to Hayes every night.
I was present. I took time away from social media. We visited my parents. We got down on the floor and played. We went swimming. We built forts with blankets, and I had the blessed experience of watching my boys become the best of friends.
There were no big life moments this summer. There won’t be anything that makes the summer of 2013 stand out in our memories. No anniversaries or birthdays to celebrate. But it was fun. And I pray that it was fun for these guys, too. Because it was about the four of us.
Hudson and Hayes will soon be old enough to complain every day about being ready for school, and I’ll be ready for that, too. And there were, of course, the moments this summer where the days got a little too long and we couldn’t wait for Todd to walk in the door at 6:30.
And as we move into fall, and approach our move-in date, it is painfully obvious. That need to nest that I was missing is an earthly thing. Because I can, and I have been, pouring love into my boys every day through this whole experience. Sharing Jesus with them and showing them every single day how important it is to praise God in all circumstances.
I will nest again. But my home is where my family is. They are my nest. They’ve always been here. And my Father has never left me.
No paint swatch, bookshelf, piece of tile, or closet organization plan can separate me from His love. I am His, and He has been working on my heart for the past few months, and I’ve been more than willing to lean into Him.
*All photos taken by Sarah Lyn Photography